


Present Conditions

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-18
Updated: 2005-10-18
Packaged: 2018-11-20 10:13:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11333700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Mulder and Krycek finally face each other and their feelings.





	Present Conditions

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

Present Conditions

### Present Conditions

#### by Lashala

  


Title: Present Conditions (Sequel to What's In A Dream? & Reality Beckons) 

Author: Lashala 

Rating: NC-17. Probably not that bad but let's not take chances! 

Keywords: M/K, Slash, Angst, Romance 

Disclaimer: I don't own them but I wish I did. If you don't know what slash is or you're under age, go home! 

Summary: AU. Present time. Mulder and Alex are finally facing one another and their feelings. If you haven't read 'What's In A Dream?' followed by 'Reality Beckons', do that first. 

Spoilers: None. Just a few random references here and there on the boys' past encounters but definitely after their 'personal' moment. Yeah...the kiss. 

Archive: Sure...but ask first! I've heard some stuff and I don't like being mistreated so I'm going to check on things. 

Feedback: Thanks for all your support and enthusiasm over my first two works. Here's hoping this also meets your expectations. If you enjoy I've got some more out there so feed me! . 

* * *

Number 42  
2630 Hegal Place  
Alexandria, VA  
1:00am - Saturday Morning 

Mulder closed the door slowly and turned to face his 'guest'. Krycek stood looking back nervously. Neither seemed able to do anything more than stare at each other. Finally, the younger man broke the silence with a weak chuckle. 

"Ah...would you like to hang up my jacket?" 

Mulder jerked upright, face going shocked before breaking into a delighted and perhaps grateful smile. "Huh? I mean yeah. Yeah, I would." 

Krycek eased out of the jacket and held it up, both men seeing the weight of 'something' leaving it slightly unbalanced on the outstretched fingers. His expression went cautious. "It's in the left inside pocket. I...I didn't know if I'd be welcome." 

The agent avoided that comment and posed another. "I was wondering..." 

Krycek knew what he wanted and spoke up quickly. "My father's. Before he came to America, he worked for a leather factory in Vladimir. Making coats. Russian winters are _too cold_ for anything but thick wool coats or furs but Russian springs are equally chilly and damp. You didn't get paid much cash back then, still don't. Mostly, things were acquired in trade of goods. He got this for me. I wasn't even born then. I was a kid when he gave it to me, maybe eight? It was way too big. He said I'd grow into it." 

//And indeed you did, baby. You wear it well. Like a second skin. A dark, deceptive, skin. Glad you shed it for me.// 

Krycek looked up sadly. "It was the only thing left of him after they killed him and took my mother and I. Everything else they took; family heirlooms, photos, the house, everything. They couldn't take _it_ because I was _wearing_ it!" 

Neither of them needed to address who _they_ were. Krycek managed to smile slightly at the agent. "I guess...I mean, I should have told you that before." 

Mulder smiled back. "I should have _asked_ before." 

Well, didn't _this_ feel like a blind date. They stood there for another moment then Krycek wiggled his hand. "Um...my _jacket_?" 

Mulder nodded, took it and walked over to the closet. He opened it, kicked the boxes back and hung it up. He turned wrapping his fingers behind his back, trying to find something, _anything_ to say. This wasn't happening, this sudden lack of words; not to _him_! But sadly he couldn't think of a thing. 

After a moment Krycek cast a wary smile that he returned still they continued to stare in awkward silence. 

Leaning back slowly, Mulder was truly shocked. This was a nice if stunning surprise. Krycek had actually come to his door preparing to _knock_ ; would have if he hadn't opened it first, sensed he needed to. Now, his old foe (maybe something better?) was standing here in his living room. Just like he dreamed. He stepped back basking in the sight... 

And closed the door hard on his hand. 

Krycek jumped a good yard as Mulder shrieked in pain, snatching his hand free and shoved the abused knuckles into his mouth without a further thought. The younger man shifted uncertainly then winced in sympathy as the agent bounced around the floor alternately yelping and grunting foully as he sucked on the throbbing digits. Finally Mulder pulled his hand free and bending over to press it between his thighs, rocked, swearing like a sailor. 

Krycek took an uncertain step forward. "Mu-Mulder? You-you okay?" 

Mulder nodded blinking fast and coughed. "Y-yeah...shit! Oh god, that hurts so bad! Fuck!" He leaned over more, rocked harder, the nerves at first shocked now beginning to react, driving the pain to stinging agony. "Ohhhh, god. Oh, mother... _Fuck_!" Tears dripped onto the floor and Krycek moved to his side. 

"Mulder, let me see your hand." 

The man jerked back, twisted, protected the agonized extremity and hissed. "No! Don't touch it! Don't touch it!" 

"It could be broken. Let me _see_!" Krycek murmured trying to reach but Mulder twisted again and took several sidesteps away, dodging attempts to grab him. "Damnit Mulder, let me see. Will you... Stop mincing around, you... Shit! _Let_. _Me_. _See_!" 

"Nooooo," Mulder wailed trying to keep Krycek's hand from getting a grip. "No, it hurts! Stop!" 

"Damnit it! Mulder, is that _blood_?!" 

"Noooo!" 

Suddenly Krycek had it. Stepping back he glared icily. "Enough! Now you either let me see your hand or so help me, I'll fucking break the other one! And maybe your goddamn legs _with_ it! Choose!" 

Mulder froze looking scared. He knew this man, knew this was no idle threat. " _Mulder_..." Krycek snarled folding his arms over his chest to stare the older man down. "Let me see your _hand_!" 

What neither man noticed was the incredible moment before them. Had they realized it, it would surely have knocked them flat. Even now, neither seemed to know a truce had been called, a white flag waved... 

A small olive branch being lowered into the dirt by two sets of hands. 

Slowly, gripping his wrist with his undamaged hand, Mulder extended the aching one. 

Krycek reached out, coughed when the hand started to dart away and waited. As it settled in his palm, he looked it over carefully. Eyeing the bruised middle knuckles he chuffed in mild disgust. "Okay, no blood but... Damn, Mulder. Couldn't get the first ones, huh? Had to stick your whole fucking hand into it, right?" 

Mulder sniffed, winching some as Krycek carefully inspected the red flesh and panted. "Y-you know me. Ah! Shit! Ra-rarely do anything half-assed." 

"Yeah. Tell me." Krycek leaned back. "It doesn't look broken but it may swell up. You should put some ice on it." He reached out to grip Mulder's elbow. "Come on." 

Both men moved to the kitchen where Krycek pulled out a chair and settled Mulder into it. Turning to the sink he opened the cabinet underneath, reached in and pulled the ice bag out. Opening the freezer door he began to fill it. Mulder watched for a moment. 

"How did you know where the bag was?" 

Krycek spun around, head bumping the door as he blurted out, "I haven't snooped recently! I swear it!" 

"Okay. Just asking, that's all. So how did you know?" 

"I just... _did_ " 

Pain fading and his curiosity overriding everything else, Mulder pushed. "Any 'dreamy' ideas on _how_ you knew?" 

Silence filled the air then Krycek dropped the bag on the table as he moved off, voice jumpy as his mood. "He-here, you can put in what you-you want." 

Mulder rose, filled the bag and carefully closed the door. He blinked as Krycek moved towards the living room only to jump back as he took in the new black leather and chrome sofa. The younger man let out a loud gasp, legs hitting the coffee table and Mulder winced seeing an image repeating. To Krycek's credit he stayed up this time merely sitting down with a shocked grunt onto the wood and Mulder apologized with a weak sigh. 

"Um, new sofa. Do you like it?" 

Krycek's face was hidden but the words carried a visual shock. "Na-na...nice. Wha-what..." 

Mulder had rehearsed his explanation to perfection. "Um, the arm was starting to unravel on the old one and the leather was old and cracking in places." Fortunately neither noted why and he went on. "I...I got a matching chair and ottoman too." 

Krycek's head swiveled, took in the additional new furniture and his swallow of surprise was audible in the room. "Um...yeah. Re-really...nice." 

'Oh boy', Mulder thought. His guest remained on the coffee table still looking anxious. "Um, Alex you might want to sit on the sofa. That coffee table's really old and it's taken some shots over the years." 

Krycek scrambled onto one of the black cushions and Mulder shook his head. Yep, he'd touched a nerve. So...he _wasn't_ alone. Funny that. "Um...do-do you want something to drink? I got some..." 

"Mulder? What's happening to me? To us? You said you dreamed. So have I. I know stuff about you. Stuff they never... I never... Um...oh _fuck it_! I dreamed about _you_! Rather intimate dreams and don't tell me I'm sick or twisted 'cause _you've_ been dreaming too! I know you have!" 

Mulder walked over to the sofa, sat and honored Krycek with a quiet look. "Yeah, I have been. Dreaming. About...you. And about me. I won't be coy, Alex, they were rather rough dreams. Some were intense with fear, pain and outright horror. Most were...rather seductive. Okay, I won't dissimilate either. I dreamed we were fucking like animals flat dead in the mating season." 

Alex's face heated in the soft lamplight as he looked away. "Blunt, direct, straight to the core, as usual." 

Mulder's expression remained solemn. "I dreamed about your life, Alex. Dreamed about you in the Bureau, the Consortium, all of it. I also dreamed about you in Tunguska. I dreamed about that night, Alex, only _I_ was the one that woke up that morning in the forest. _I_ was the one that felt..." 

He paused as the color drained from Krycek's face and the man tilted slightly on the sofa. He grabbed the right arm and held it, massaging the fingers as Krycek looked up at him through watery eyes. "I felt it. _All of it_ , Alex. My alarm went off and woke me but I've never been so scared and so sick in my life! _I_ hurt, Alex. The pain was just as real to me. Oh god, Alex, I'm sorry! I'm so fucking _sorry_!" 

He was. Knew it as well as he knew he could never make up his decision to take Krycek with him. He had dreamed of offering an olive branch. Now was the time. "Alex...the _only_ reason I took you there was because you spoke Russian. When I started to leave you...in the car, you yelled at me in Russian. I caught it, and knew I could use you. I had _planned_ to leave you handcuffed in it until then." 

Krycek nodded dully. "Yeah. Leave me to starve. Good choice of options, Mulder." 

"I..." Mulder sighed. "I was going to call Skinner. While I was in the terminal. I was going to tell him to come pick you up. I wouldn't have left you out there in the cold." 

"Uh-huh." Krycek's eyes filled and he turned his head away to gaze elsewhere. "Skinner. Another night on his balcony. You should have let me starve. Unless..." He turned back to Mulder, fresh tears easing down his face. "Unless you thought I might try to get away. You know...chew my _arm_ off to escape." 

The words brought bile up Mulder's throat forcing him to swallow hard. He opened his mouth to protest but Krycek cut him off with a weak, pained chuckle as he wiped at his face. "There're times, even now, I _really_ wish you _had_ left me. I've...seen things. Things I'll _never_ be able to forget." 

Some of those things Mulder wouldn't forget either. He didn't deserve to. Not if he truly wanted peace with this man. He massaged the hand still pressed in his sadly. 

He remembered the dream - waking up, arm throbbing intensely; the pain of Alex's amputation so real he had to move it, hold it up to believe it _was_ only a dream. Remembered waking, rolling over to find his limb - the remnant stiff and charred - sticking out from the dying embers of the fire, all too real. 

He remembered staring at it in mind-numbed horror, the blackened fingers stretched outward in rigor like leafless branches on a dead tree. Remembered trying to rise up, falling back, nothing to support him on the left. Remembered staring down at the stump, a bloody cloth wrapped over the partly scorched flesh - shock numbing pain. Remembered the whimpers that quickly rose to shrieks in a throat near bloody raw with them already. 

Mulder shivered, squeezed the hand in his biting back his own tears and whispered. "I'm _so sorry_ , Alex." 

The hand extracted itself from Mulder's and Krycek sat up slowly. "I don't want to talk about _that_. Not now and not ever." 

Mulder nodded and eased back. He could allow Krycek this - the right to keep _this_ door closed. For as long as he needed to. The trauma must have been beyond anything he could imagine or conceive in his mind. The dream had been horrific enough and it was only a fabrication of the subconscious. He hadn't been there; hadn't witnessed the atrocity first-hand. It was purely images either received from his own conceptualization based on what he _did_ know or uncovered about the event over time. 

_Or was it_? 

He glanced down; noticed Krycek's left hand was now pressed against the right, fingers intertwined. Reaching over, he eased his over the back, rubbed slow and ignoring the younger man's gasp smiled gently. "If you ever want to _talk_ about that _or this_ , I'll listen. Just listen. For now, I'm glad not everything's a dream." He kept up the slow massage. "Can you feel that?" The trembling in the body next to him confirmed it. "Does it feel okay? Does it hurt?" A slow head shake responded. "Good. That's good." 

The hand kept working over his and Krycek felt it. Felt the warmth, Mulder's pulse beat thumping against his skin like a full drum corps sending shocks through his system and heightening a need he wasn't ready to give in to. Not yet. Not completely. It scared him badly. 

His greatest foe had a weapon over him. The worst one. His greatest rule - 'never give an enemy an advantage' - had been broken. Mulder had a powerful asset and he knew the man could use it. He trembled more, visibly, and tried to inch away. 

"Mulder... _please_." 

"Please what? You need to be more _specific_ , Alex. I can't do what you want without some instruction." When Krycek's head snapped up Mulder kept smiling. "Tell me what you want. And my name is Fox, remember?" 

For the briefest of moments, Mulder thought he saw the green eyes go yellow-gold; saw fangs in the sneer, a swishing tail and he froze. Then he moved his hand and body back slowly. The image fit as the younger man rumbled a warning deep in his throat. "I remember. _Too much_! What did you _do_ to me, Mulder?! When did you slip me the funky mickey, huh? When did the Bureau lab rats come up with this?!" 

He'd always viewed this man as something of an animal - wild and savage. Now they were in a cage together. He couldn't yet turn his back but perhaps... He countered the accusation smoothly. "Making excuses to deflect your own feelings again, Alex? Your own fears? I don't think you can lie your way out of this one; not this time. You showed up at _my_ door remember?" 

Krycek nodded. "Right! To find out what _you_ did to me!" 

Mulder shook his head still smiling. " _No_. You're here to find out what I'm _going_ to do to you." 

Krycek tensed, green eyes narrowing as he gauged the man in front of him carefully. "Don't make me _hurt_ you, Mulder." 

"If you do, it'll only make me scream louder. I'm good for a little bondage. You're into kink, aren't you?" He grinned more at the shocked expression on the other man's face. "Okay, let _me_ tell you what we _both_ want. To be in bed, between each other's legs, doing things we've only dared dream about. Until now." 

Krycek's jaw seemed to come unhinged and was threatening to fall on the floor. "Wha-what?!" he gasped. His eyes crossed slowly as Mulder leaned in and purred at him. 

"If you have any control issues, and don't we all, I'll toss you for it. Heads, tails, doesn't matter. Either way, we'll both be walking slow in the morning." 

"Yo-you're _crazy!_ " Krycek panted, not noticing the hand that eased behind him, fingers moving up until they wove into his hair and jerked his head back. Squealing in complete surprise his eyes went wide as Mulder pulled them close, lips gliding towards his. He blinked as Mulder's nose - that big, beautiful nose - inhaled deeply, nostrils flaring wide, a pair of hazel eyes dark above it. 

"Yep, I'm crazy. Wanna go off the deep end with me?" 

There was no chance to respond as Mulder's mouth flooded over his in a kiss that rocked them both. 

The shock of Mulder's warm lips, the gentle nibbling that widened to an all-out assault took over Krycek's mind, his soul, warped everything he believed he knew and understood about this man and turned it inside-out. This went beyond the dreams - this was _real_ \- took all that he thought he understood and made it obsolete. 

He barely felt the shift of the body wrapping around him, pulling him in, knew only the taste of Mulder in his mouth - of sunflower seeds and coffee - the delicious feel of the tongue that desperately sought his, lavished attention on it and the desire and need drove him mad. Whining, he responded, trying to take Mulder's whole mouth in his. 

He shook against the body pressing tighter, impossibly tighter; didn't care that the mouth covering his had turned to a leech, threatened to suck the very life from his lungs. He welcomed it. If Mulder suffocated him this way, he'd go gladly; the last thought as his mind died Mulder's lips on his. The last breath given to the only man he'd ever wanted. 

Krycek moaned under the attack, groaned with need that licked along his body like flames. He was burning again but this time it wasn't just an arm. His whole body was ignited! And he didn't care. Didn't care if he flared into ash. This moment was all he knew. 

Then the kiss changed. 

The wild, near demonic passion eased, cooled; became softer, gentler. The kiss faded to something so caressing, so sweet, the hair on the back of his neck lifted, sent shivers down his back and his body arched with a different charge. Electricity crackled over him, his fingers, hands, arms jerked on their own, lifting to wrap the body so hot against him closer. He needed this warmth, badly. 

He kissed back, almost desperately now, nuzzled into the warm body in a near panic and realized a colder truth. He was in _love_... 

And doomed. 

So... _this_ was what it was like, to loose oneself completely. To need someone so much. It was scary. Terribly scary. And... _wonderful_. 

For Mulder, the pleasure went overload. Finally after years of doubt, fear, he had gained not just Alex's trust but perhaps his love. In this moment, the latter meant everything. 

The dreams screamed through his mind - every intimate moment he'd wanted, shared, the most private touches with this man so visual he was overwhelmed. He _knew_ this man; every cell, scar, mole, birthmark was already imprinted into his mind and heart. _He_ was in love... 

And forever trapped. 

He rocked forward pulling his legs up, pulled Krycek up into his lap, grunting as a pair of long legs wrapped around him and dropped them back onto the sofa. He ravished the mouth against his, tasted a flavor of expensive beer, smelled the scent from the leather jacket tangled in the moistness of sweat and marked it as Krycek's own pheromone-coated calling card. He liked it. A great deal. Knew he'd be able to pick out his lover blind-folded in a stadium. But Krycek wasn't his lover. 

Not yet. 

He pulled back, lips slipping loose with a wet smack and panted for air. Krycek gasped too, eyes dark and wild. Mulder smiled letting his hand drift downward, massaged the thick bulge in the other man's pants and whispered in a voice that smoldered with its siren call. "You can _pretend_ none of this means anything; say it's merely a reaction to a dream but your body's telling me a whole different story." 

Krycek gazed back and knew the man was right. He couldn't lie against this no matter _how_ good he was. Maybe...maybe one truth _wouldn't_ hurt. He shifted, eased his hand down and found Mulder equally hard and throbbing. "Ummmm...not the _only_ one, I see." He lifted his head, made a grand show of looking around before settling a hot, lust-filled gaze back on hazel eyes. "Care to take this someplace _else_?" 

"I...have a bed. Would that...suit your _needs_?" 

Mulder let his expression go coy and Krycek smiled leaning in to nuzzle his nose. "Yeah. Do just fine." He disentangled himself as Mulder sat up, rose pulling the man to his feet and began a slow walk backward, eyes never leaving those of his lover. "What about your hand?" 

"You mean I'm going to _need_ it? I might as well stay right here then. You know...hand, sofa, video, _I'm home_." 

The heat in the air lifted slightly, gave them both a moment to breathe. "Smart-ass prick," Krycek sneered but his bright eyes belied any anger. "I _knew_ I shouldn't have cared." 

Mulder flexed his hand, grimaced as a knuckle cracked then lowered it. "It hurts, some, but it seems not to be a bad as I thought. Guess that initial pain was merely the shock of catching it in the door in the first place." He looked up actually amazed. "You know, I've _never_ done that before." 

"First time for everything, Mulder," Krycek snickered. He looked off for a moment then back and his voice lowered. "Mulder... _Fox_... I need you to do something for me. Something... _important_." 

The sound of his name, issued from the smoky voice nearly made him come. He moved in fast, wrapping Krycek back into his arms and began a taunting, delicious grooming of the younger man's face, lips tasting his eyelid, tracing a brow. "Urrrrr...what's that?" 

Krycek pulled himself free and locked their eyes staring back seriously. "Make me forget. _All of it_. If only for this night, I don't... I don't want to remember _any_ of it." 

Mulder's expression grew soft, the request too easy to understand. He nodded slowly and taking Krycek's hand, led them into the bedroom, the latter pushing the door shut behind them. He turned to face his younger lover and smiled. "I...ah, I made up the bed. Fresh sheets and..." 

He paused, unsure what else to say that didn't seem tacky and Krycek smiled back. "It's okay, I understand." He gazed around the bedroom. "Besides, I never thought I'd _be_ here. I always dreamed..." He stopped with a snort. "Oh man, that's almost too farcical to say." He moved to the bed, sat down and began untying his boots. 

Mulder stood there, watching quietly, the simple action screaming at him. Watched Alex's fingers, all ten of them, deftly undoing the laces, easing off first one boot then the other. Remembered seeing him after Tunguska again, noticed the slide-in boots or those jogger's shoes with the Velcro strips so popular now, anything that needed no dexterity. He noticed a hole in a sock, a toe peeking out, watched the left fingers try to tuck it back under the fabric and felt tears rising up hard, guts wavering. 

Alex was whole again, no dreams, no illusions this time, but reality. Alex had both arms back; arms that could hold him together, hold _them_ together. This part of their long battle was corrected, resolved. Now, Mulder knew he'd never put Alex in such danger again, risk a single part of him as he had mindlessly, selfishly done before. He had a chance again; a fresh start to get it all right. He _needed_ to get it right. He tightened his stomach, breathed slowly and blinked hard. 

When Krycek looked back up, all _he_ saw was a contented gaze looking back. He reached out, gestured to Mulder to join him. 

"Besides...I'm _tired_ of talking." 

Mulder nestled down next to him and pulled him into his arms. Leaning in he laved the younger man's mouth violently again, swirling his tongue inside Krycek's; moaned as its mate met it, tangled passionately before the need for air made him pull away. 

"Need you, Alex. Need to love you. Now!" 

Krycek had a moment to nod before Mulder pushed him onto his back, straddled his hips and began pulling at his shirt. "Mulder! Mulder, wait! That's a good..." The sound of tearing fabric made him moan. "Never mind, Mulder." He grunted as his arms were pulled up fast. When the material flew into the air he chuckled in acceptance. "I...I can buy another one." Another ripping sound confirmed Mulder's shirt was about to join his. 

What _was it_ about that? Ripping someone's shirt off prior to sex? It did next to nothing for the act itself and probably cost more than a few good relationships lost due to mistreatment of wardrobes. Yet, it was the stuff of chick flicks, gay porn; and still...it _did_ get _his_ gonads twitching just a bit. 

Krycek grinned to himself then a hot, hard, totally naked body fell on him, a moist, equally hot mouth took over his, tearing his breath away and filling him with a primal need. "Mulder! God! Fuck me now!" He gasped as the body shifted, heard the sound of wood clattering to the floor then a bottle of K-Y was in his hand. 

"Put it on me!" 

Krycek grabbed the bottle, popping the cap and Mulder pulled him into his arms. "Wait! Mulder, let me...umph!" He fought to get away from the mouth trying to take over his. "God! Let me..." 

Mulder went after his neck, kissing wildly, clamping on to suck, dropping them back forcefully to the covers and Krycek twisted in his grasp. "Let me at least get my pants off!" Another wild series of kisses and licks covered his face as a hand twined itself between their writhing bodies, found a zipper and pulled hard. 

"Eeeeeyow!" 

Mulder glanced up horrified as Krycek panted, "Shit! Easy!" Realized he probably didn't have anything on under the jeans, was sure of it, and blushed. 

"S-s-sorry." 

"It-it's okay, just take it slow. I don't think 'Hair Club for Men' works that department." 

Mulder let out a strangled cough then burst into giggles, Krycek joining him a breath later. It helped some and the man above looked down in apology. "I'm a bit crazy, remember?" 

"Yeah?" Krycek looked shocked. "Well, my oh my!" 

Mulder's face went fierce. "Are you mocking me?" 

"Of course. What else can I do?" 

"Oh...I don't know..." Mulder sneered but his eyes twinkled. "Act...horny?" 

"I was _trying_ until you started going ape-shit!" 

"I wasn't... Oh, never mind." Mulder rolled off and sighed. "Maybe...um, we should just talk first." 

"Wait... I-I didn't mean to..." 

Mulder barked an order. "Forget it, Alex. It's okay." 

//Okay...if that's how you want it. Fine!// 

Krycek stood up on the bed, pulling his pants off quick, yanking the socks off and tossing the lot to the floor. Mulder watched the man's cock bobbing before his eyes like a dog with a juicy bone. Slowly he rose onto his knees, almost lifted his arms to 'beg' as his lips parted. Before he could take it, Krycek suddenly shoved out, hand slamming his chest toppling him back. Before _Mulder_ could move, he straddled the man's hips grabbing his arms to pin him down. 

"Don't make me punch you out!" 

Mulder gazed up panting. "I can't help it! I want you! Now!" 

"And I want _you_ , but I'd like to survive it, Mulder." 

"Fox," Mulder moaned, grinding his hips upward; smiling as Krycek moaned back trembling. "It's _Fox_ , Alex. Please. Call me Fox." 

Alex stopped stunned. "I-I..." 

" _Fox_ , Alex." 

It was an affirmation of love he wasn't sure he was deserving of but Krycek leaned downward, began a slow, sensuous series of kisses on the full lips under him. "Fox," he sighed. "My Fox. Only mine." 

It wasn't a question and Mulder knew it. He nodded. "Only yours. Always been just yours." 

"Good," Alex purred and grabbed him rolling them over the bed until Mulder rested on his chest. 

"Alex?! What the..." 

"Fox?" It came out softly, frightened and Mulder pulled up onto his hands. "Please don't hurt me." Krycek reached around, gripped the bottle and held it up. "Don't hurt me." 

Mulder took it with a smile. "I won't. Promise you, I'll make it good for you. For both of us." He rocked back on his knees. "Gonna make this good, baby. I'm gonna make you feel so good." 

"Say it again." 

Mulder lowered the bottle and tipped his head. "I'm gonna make you feel good, Alex. I promise." 

Krycek managed a tickled laugh. "No. The other part. What you called me. Say it again." 

Mulder's eyes softened and he leaned in, nuzzling the younger man's neck, licking a slow path up to a delicate ear. "Baby. That's what I said. I called you 'baby'. My baby." 

Krycek moaned, wiggled slowly as Mulder's arm coaxed him to lift and spread his legs. "Can I? Be yours?" 

Mulder nodded, rocking back to ease his finger along the tight pink opening "Ummm, yesssss. Just mine. Only mine?" 

Krycek trembling and rasped. "Only...yo-yours. Fuck me!" 

"I plan to," Mulder murmured staying focused on what he was doing. He filled his fingers with lube and dropped the bottle on the floor. Fingers moved gently, slicked up the soft puckered flesh. He smiled as Krycek writhed, heels burrowing up the covers, pushed a finger in and slowly began to thrust. When he looked up the sight that greeted his eyes shook him. 

Krycek was now spread eagle on the bed, hands clenched over his head as if he were shackled. His eyes were shut so tight they looked like lines drawn on a near white face. Mulder's shock put him into profiling mode and he realized despite the need, the lust, Krycek's subconscious was making him relive the past. 

//God, Alex! What did they do to you? Jesus, what did they _do_?!// 

Krycek was back. In the Consortium's grasp and being raped. Again. 

Mulder had dreamed this one too; waking up terrified second only to the Russia dream. Barely. 

As he watched Krycek writhe on the bed, reacting to a horror _he_ could only dream of, he realized the torture, the pain, all that he and Scully, even Skinner had endured was nothing new; they, only a few people in a long line the Consortium had tormented. 

But Krycek had pulled the tab marked 'Serving Number One'. 

Sweat rose up on the younger man's face as he lay there; breathing raspy and Mulder realized he couldn't do this. Not like this. _He_ needed to be the bottom this time. Krycek needed to have the fear, the illusion removed. At least abated somewhat. Slowly he moved his hand to rub a muscled thigh and winced when Krycek rocked against it groaning. 

"Alex? I...I want you to make love to me." 

"Nnnn...noooo." Krycek whimpered. "Gonna be good. I-I swear." 

"I _know_ you will," Mulder nodded massaging the thigh again. "But I want _you_ to make love to _me_." 

Krycek wasn't listening. He tensed then relaxed taking the hand's pressure with a slow hiss of air. "More! Harder!" He was lost in the memory, saying and doing whatever was expected. To live. 

Mulder shook his head, licking his lips in worry. "Alex? Can you hear me? You need to make me ready, baby. Just...just a little bit." 

"Now, damn it! Fuck me!" 

//Shit.// Mulder reached out to stroke the sweaty face under him. "Alex? Alex? Come out of it. Okay? Come on, wake up!" When Krycek made a weak, lost sound, he gave it a careful slap. 

"Alex! Wake up!" 

Krycek's eyes fluttered open slowly, took in the concerned gaze above them and the face went deep red. "Um...what? I..." He glanced down to the naked body above his and trembled. "Um...h-hey." 

It was a shaky greeting, covering near panic and Mulder knew it. Smelled the fear and eased back. "You want to tell me what just happened?" 

"No." 

That was even more anxious. "Okay. I'll tell _you_. I already know about what happened to you. I know what they did, Alex. You were..." 

"Don't tell me _anything_!" Krycek growled. It was low, soft and dangerous in the warning but Mulder didn't flinch. 

"You were raped. I dreamed that I was there. I was..." 

Krycek's eyes darkened. "Don't, Mulder." 

"...That I was the one feeling them..." 

" _Leave it_!" 

"I can't!" Mulder shouted then checked his rage. "I can't, Alex. Not now! Not ever! Don't you understand?! I can't forget it because it was _me_! It happened to _me_! I feel like I was the one that suffered. I can't ignore that." 

" _Try_ , damn it!" 

Mulder shook his head. "I want to talk about this. Okay? I want us to try to resolve this. I dreamed this too. I felt your fear, terror. I know you know I dreamed this. I want you to _talk_ to me, we _need_ to talk. You can't ignore what we've been experiencing, _can you_?" 

"I can try!" Krycek hissed then settled his features to begging. "Mulder, please. Please leave it. I...I'm tired. Let me up. I should leave. I didn't mean to come here anyway. I..." 

A hand pressed his face as Mulder moved over. If Krycek wanted to run he'd let him but only _so_ far and _only_ after they talked. "Yes, you did and I'm _glad_ you came over but I think we should talk first, okay? We need to talk before we do _anything_ else. I'm sorry to rush you. I should have thought. It was rude of me and I'm sorry. It's okay now. I understand. Stay with me tonight. Just to sleep. You're safe here. We can talk in the morning. How's that?" 

This was almost too weird for Krycek. Mulder was actually concerned; his tone seemed caring and understanding. Wanted him to stay. Here. Just to...sleep. It was a scary thing, not exactly the agent's _modus operandi_ ; at least not when he dealt with one Alex Krycek. "I thought... I thought you wanted to..." Krycek's gaze flicked away; came back shamed. "I thought we were going to..." 

"Do you feel like it now? _Honestly_?" 

"No," the younger man sighed. "Not right now. Sorry." 

Mulder wasn't surprised. _His_ cock was flat, deflated by emotions of worry and concern but he decided not to explain that to the other man. "Don't be. My fault. I'd rather talk actually." He lowered the bottle onto the floor, wiping his hand on the cover with a sigh. Well, he'd planned to do laundry just not like this. "Let's sleep first, see how we feel in the morning. You _are_ going to be here then, right?" 

Krycek looked unsure. "I don't think I should stay here. Maybe I should come back later. What if Scully calls? Comes by? How do you explain me?" He glanced at the covers. "Especially here?" 

Mulder chuckled rolling over to kill the light. As the room fell into moon-softened darkness he sighed deeply. This wasn't turning out to be his best night but morning could be better. 

"I'll worry about it when it happens. Now..." He eased back, burrowing into the mattress until he pressed against a firm stomach. "Go to sleep." He tugged the covers up around them and settled in; smiling as another body moved closer, warmth comforting and real. Sighed as a leg brushed against his. It would have been wonderful... 

If only Krycek had kept his mouth shut. 

"What did you use on me, Fox?" 

And just like that, the cease fire ended. 

Mulder blinked dully, trying to brush away the urge to sleep. "Um... _what_?" 

"I asked what did you use on me? How the hell did you do this? Make me think I was dreaming about you? Make me fall into bed with you? Why? Why are you _doing_ this to me? What do you _really_ want?" 

Mulder's fuzziness faded quickly, replaced with a growing feeling of ire. "I didn't _do_ anything to you. I told you I've had dreams like..." 

Krycek sat up. " _Don't_ give me that Bureau 'plausible denial' shit, Mulder. I know it chapter and verse. Now tell me what the hell you _used_ on me!" 

Mulder rolled over frowning. "I haven't used _anything_ on you! I'm not _doing_ anything. I don't want to fight, Alex. I'm not your enemy. Not now. Not ever again." 

Krycek stared at him for a moment before he began to chuckle. He shook his head slowly in amusement. "Jesus, you're _good_. I mean...you're _really_ good! You almost had me, Mulder. You held that carrot out and I almost gave in. Almost spread 'em wide for you. But you said you wanted to _talk_ more. Yeah. Now _that's_ you. Don't know what you used but you nearly..." 

"I _said_ I didn't..." 

Krycek growled and shoved Mulder away from him. "Bullshit! You had the files, the DAT, you can't tell me you and your lab boys didn't uncover something juicy. You did and _what_ did you do? Decided to use it on your little rat, didn't you?" He sneered in disgust. "And to think I almost bought into that 'changed man' routine. Yeah, you changed all right. _You're_ just like _them_ now!" 

Mulder sat up so fast he didn't notice the covers falling away, his nakedness forgotten in a blaze of anger that seemed to blast off him. "I don't think I _like_ what you're insinuating, Alex." 

"Don't call me that, _you prick_! You _used_ me!" Krycek yelled. "You think that shit on the sofa was enough to convince me?! Get over yourself! You don't care about me; need me for anything more than your guinea pig. You drugged me, convinced me I was dreaming, living your life and then got me here! In bed! You were about to fuck me. You'd never do that, _never_ touch me like that and we _both_ know it! I _know_ what you're after Mulder, and it's not my feelings. You want _information_! You were ready to whore yourself out, play the concerned citizen for it. I don't have it to give so stop playing the 'caretaker', it doesn't suit you!" He flung back the covers to rise but not fast enough. 

Krycek's arrogance warranted the only response Mulder knew to give. He snarled, rolled over pinning the younger man under him, wrapped his hands into Krycek's hair and pulled hard ignoring the yell of pain as Krycek's back arched to counter the tension. 

"Is _this_ what you want instead?! Huh?! _Pain?!_ _Anger?!_ Is this the _only_ thing you can understand from me, Alex?! Answer me!" 

Krycek's eyes darkened as he jerked his head free, not even wincing as several strands remained in Mulder's fingers and spat back. "Why the hell not?! I mean it's what _you do_ , who you _are_! _This_ is all you've _ever_ done to me so why break the habit of a lifetime?!" 

Mulder shook above him, the harsh words raking him like claws. Suddenly he rocked back, released Krycek and stood up. Turning, he bent down, gathered up his shirt and began to put it on. He kept his eyes averted, not even seeing Krycek pull himself up on the bed against the headboard in fear. Instead, he bent down to retrieve his underwear and pants. 

"Get dressed, Krycek and leave. I'm letting you go." He noticed the surprise and nodded. "But you were _never_ a prisoner, Krycek. Never. I wanted a chance to talk, to...never mind. Just dress and go. Don't come back. We're done here. Forever." 

Slowly Krycek eased on the bed, rising to kneel stunned. Something was... _wasn't_ right here. No fists flying? No slamming him into the wall? No threat of death if he didn't talk?! What the... 

"F-Fox? What the hell..." 

He grunted as a handful of clothing fell over him as Mulder hurled them at him screaming. "Just take your fucking clothes and leave, Krycek! And don't ever call me Fox again! You don't _deserve_ to call me that! Only someone I _love_ , my _lover_ , should _ever_ have that privilege. You aren't and _you don't_. You're Krycek. I'm Mulder. You were right. Why break habits? Now get dressed!" 

He turned for the bathroom, didn't care if the younger man dressed or fled stark-ass naked. It didn't matter anymore. Not one damn bit. He'd lost it all. He truly believed he could make a difference; change all the wrong he'd done to and received from his one-time nemesis. He'd failed. Alex didn't believe him, couldn't trust him. Maybe couldn't trust _himself_. The olive branch he dreamed of seeing flourish into a tree had died; a dry, withered husk in the dirt. He had to accept the hard, cold fact... 

Sometimes you just _don't get_ what you want. 

"Good luck with your life, Krycek. Now get the hell out of mine! Permanently!" 

As the door slammed shut behind him, Krycek climbed off the bed and stared at it. What the hell was happening here?! Mulder slamming a _door_ rather than slamming his face? Storming off leaving him here, in his bedroom and capable of planting...anything?! Yet he didn't seem to even... Okay, something was _really_ wrong here. 

He glanced up at the sounds of crying behind the door. Mulder?! Mulder was... _crying?!_

//What the hell is going on?! He's... F-Fox?!// 

He was torn between banging on the bathroom door to find out what was going on and hauling ass. This wasn't like the Mulder he knew, _thought_ he knew, yet fear kept him from doing the first. Choosing the latter he quickly dressed. 

By the time Mulder exited the bathroom, eyes reddened with tears, Krycek was gone. Vision glazed by stinging eyes and a sorrowed heart, he staggered into the living room and leaned against the window frame, sobbing in hopelessness. 

It should have been _easy_. Didn't the dreams mean _anything_ to Alex? He dreamed, so he said; knew what Mulder knew and felt. But perhaps, merely knowing wasn't _enough_ to pierce years of doubt and mistrust. Perhaps Alex needed more. Needed to _see_. 

'A picture is worth a thousand words.' He should have known. 

Slowly, he bumped his head against the frame in frustration. What image had _he_ given? Anger. As usual. Why hadn't he done better? Like he wanted? 

//Because you've never _felt_ like it with him. All he has are _dreams_ to believe in. All you've ever _shown_ him is what he's used to. Hate.// 

"No. No, I-I _helped_ him. When he-he was...was sick." 

//Yes, you did and the first thing you planned to do once he was out of danger was beat him senseless until he told you what Cancerman's latest plans were. You didn't give a fuck if he lived or died; only that he lived _long enough_ to tell you what you wanted to know. And as soon as he could, he fled. Left you high and dry and can you blame him? Don't confuse dreams and what you want _now_ with reality and what you did _then_!// 

Suddenly the dreams rose up, flared along his mind - the bad ones, the angry ones; and every image of Alex was an anxious face, if not bloodied; _always_ a pair of green eyes filled with pain and fear. He thought back to the sofa, those brief, beautiful moments and hung his head in shame. 

No wonder Alex couldn't believe. He was right. The Mulder _he_ knew _would_ do anything to get his answers. Especially if he knew the 'object' of his interest was interested in _him_. 

'You'd never do that, _never_ touch me like that and we _both_ know it!' 

"Ohhhhh, Alex. I'm...I'm sorry. Please... Please, _come back_. Let me...fix it. Please." 

Sighing he looked up. Stared out the window in time to notice the large sedan that drove away. In time to notice the smaller car that suddenly moved out in pursuit. 

Gasping, he grabbed his keys and tore out the apartment. 

* * *

Alexandria, VA  
Location Unknown  
3:00am - Saturday morning 

Krycek let the hot water within the claw-foot tub shower beat him senseless. 

The bungalow was a far cry from his modern, opulent penthouse apartment in the old days but it had a water heater the size of a tank; an ocean of hot water. Right now, he intended to get a full month's billing worth. 

He leaned against the wrap-around framework and lifted his face to the splash. What the hell happened back there? What had Mulder done? What had _he_ done? What had _he_ said? The truth? Well, yes! Mulder always wanted the truth, why hold back in any matter? Especially went it came to just how much the man 'cared' - in terms of his dealing with one Alex Krycek. 

This was all too insane - the dreams, the moments of kindness from the agent - too much to accept off-hand. He felt lost and confused; feelings that were way opposite from the norm for him. The agent had seemed so... _tolerant_ towards him. Concerned. Caring. Something he'd rarely been since discovering his involvement in the Consortium. 

He ran his fingers through his hair, thought of other hands there. Pain. Oh yes, _that_ was the Mulder he knew! The one that yelled and threw him out. _That_ was Mulder! But the one that walked off, slammed a bathroom door and _let him_ leave... That wasn't... 

The moment on Mulder's sofa returned. The kiss that nearly killed him with its intensity; the hot, hard body nearly branding itself on his. Absently his fingers lifted, brushed along his mouth; the thought of Mulder's hot, hard cock deep... 

No! 

He snatched his hand away with a hard snarl. No! Oh no, _this_ he understood. Sex. Oh yeah, _that_ was understood. He'd used it enough himself; been used because of it. Sex could get answers, work lies. 

//Get a grip, Krycek, you _asshole!_ Do you really think just because he's got 'FBI' on his ID and a blue suit he's above using _that_ to get to you?! He knows now. Knows what he can use on you. And you _let_ him!// 

But it still seemed so... 

//Fuck it! Don't! Don't go there! _Forget_ the dreams! They're not _real!_ This is _Fox Mulder_ you're dealing with! Wake up!// 

Okay. There had to be _something_ Mulder was doing, using on him. He just needed time to find out. 

He'd been bouncing tons of ideas over and over to no avail. None fit Mulder's style. Now feeling the water finally starting to cool, he turned it off, stepped out and dried off. A sudden stomach gurgle reminded him he'd not eaten dinner. There was an all-night pizza joint just a couple of blocks away. Since sleep wasn't in the cards, a good veggie pizza with extra olives and a cold beer would be perfect to mull this whole mess over. 

Krycek pulled his clothes off the toilet seat, dressed quickly and opened the door. Walking out he shut it, turned... 

And nearly had a stroke as Scully's deep blue gaze locked on his. 

Before he could scream in fright, move, her gun was pressed against his neck, arm twisting his right up and behind him; the attack giving him no time to react beyond a small squeak of shock. Scully was stronger than he'd ever realized, the woman's grip on his arm close to wrenching it. 

Suddenly Krycek realized just how much _had_ changed. Scully was tougher now. Gone was the totally serious scientific demeanor. In its place was a steely-nerved, ass-kicking FBI agent that had seen too much; most of it right in her face. One with a personal attitude for him and a score to settle. He knew why and knew he was in deep shit. He let out a shaky gasp stunned by her aggressiveness; not cognizant that he was still several inches taller than the petite woman, _much_ bigger and now, thanks to his rebel allies, _infinitely stronger_. Instead, he gasped in panic. 

"Sc-Scully. Don't! _Please!_ " 

She hissed in the elfin ear. "We're going to have a little _talk_ , Krycek, but a complete one. Walk out to the living room, stand in the middle and don't so much as twitch. And don't try anything funny or so help me god, I'll forget what I promised Mulder and shoot your brains out!" 

She let him go with a shove and backed away as he lifted his arms, turned slowly. "How...how the hell did you _get_ here? Find me?" 

The gun waggled towards the living room and the sofa. "I think _I_ have the upper hand here. You'll answer _my_ questions. And don't look for the extra weapon under that cushion. Found it! Now _move!_ " 

Krycek did as he was told, moved down the hall, slumping down on the sofa defeated and folded his arms. He looked more like a child caught trying to play hooky and not someone a breath away from getting shot. "Fine, Scully, you got me. What now? You gonna shoot me up with more of those drugs? Make me dream _what_ this time? That _you and I_ are a hot item? Heh! Don't count on it." He stared up at the red-headed woman. "You're not that cute." 

Scully sighed and lowered the gun, but her finger remained on the trigger. Krycek noted it. "You haven't been drugged by me, Krycek, so don't insult my integrity _or_ Mulder's feelings. Neither is up for ridicule. As to your sexual interests..." She eyed him with a smirk. "I'm sure _I'm_ not concerned." 

She had a second to enjoy the eye blink then Krycek wagged a hand dismissively, played it off well. "Okay, fine, whatever. You want me to call him to come over? Not like Mulder to miss the fun of slapping me around some. Maybe you'd like to tag-team?" 

Neither was aware that at that precise moment, Mulder _was_ there, having slipped through the back door in the kitchen glad he'd been able to pick it. Being a bit like Alex _was_ disturbing at times. He leaned against the wall, peeking carefully through the small crack between it and the swinging door that separated the rooms. 

He winced at the younger man's remarks. Alex was like a wolf raised by humans then released back into the wild. He'd once accepted them as part of his 'pack' but years living alone and fighting to survive had again made him feral. He didn't trust anymore to let them in again. 

//And you really haven't helped any, have you?// 

Mulder released how much he now wanted to run with him, howl with him and live the adventure. Realized how much he wanted 'in' to that pack and how much he'd done to make that very difficult, for Alex was its 'alpha male' and no pack _ever_ allowed for two. 

He watched as Scully sneered at the triple agent but eased her finger off the trigger before shoving it into her coat pocket. "Don't push it, Krycek. You've deserved a lot worse than the occasional correction." 

Krycek absently rubbed his jaw and snorted. "Yeah and _you've_ missed some impressive photo opts, lady. You could teach triage from what he's left on me." Suddenly he sat up. "Wait a second... You're not here to watch out for him, are you?" He shook his head in shock. "Geez, Mulder's really kinky but it won't work." He eyed the red-headed woman with a sniff of disdain. "I'm not into red-heads." 

"I would imagine not...since most males' pubic hair is darker than their heads. Bet you've _yet_ to _see_ a truly 'red-head' huh? By the way, even if I _could_ grow a dick _you'd_ never see it." 

Did Scully just say...? Holy shit she did! 

As Krycek began to blush at the comment, Mulder bit his lip behind the door to keep from whooping with joy. Scully talking trash?! No way! But she had! This was a new side to his partner and one he was sure he might never see again. It was almost like watching Krycek arguing with himself. It was definitely stunning him as he stared up at the words in visible surprise. Scully'd sure got him with that one, yet the man tried his best to play the verbal sparing well. 

"You're making less sense than normal, Scully. So what is this? More of the 'Adams Family' morgue humor?" 

"Okay then," Scully snorted stepping back and folding up her arms. "Let me just lay it all out for you to comprehend. You're _gay_. _Mulder_ is too. He's been in love with you since the day you met, still loves you despite all the shit you've done, wanted you but feared Bureau reprisals, started dreaming about you a few weeks ago, told me all about that and everything else, wants badly to bury the past with you, desperately wants you to be a part of his life, knew you were coming to his apartment tonight, asked me to come by to make sure you didn't sneak away before dawn because he still has some things he wants to clear up before he asks you to move in with him, because he's under the illusion that both of you would be safer _if_ you lived together. Obviously your old habits didn't get you past the preliminary round and either you or him, or both, and _I'm_ guessing the _latter_ , started up the old trouble again. You bailed before anything could be resolved and _I'm_ here to resolve it!" 

As Krycek stared back dumbly she drew in a deep breath, blew it out hard and managed a wary smile. "Woo! There. Now, I've saved him that whole monolog so just get up, march back to that apartment, admit you're a scary-cat, tell him you're sorry and go back to sleep with your lover!" 

My lover?! Krycek listened to it all quietly. Scully had never lied to him. True, she may have not provided full details but what she _did_ say had never been false. Mulder _really_ loved him. Wanted him to _live_ with him! Had tried to tell him. In the most loving and intimate way and what had he done? 

The dreams came back, razor sharp. Mulder's bright smile, happiness radiating out of every pore; hazel eyes glowing and focused on him. Then reality; the sofa...the fiery passion that poured from the man like lava, burning them both. Mulder tearing at his clothes, wild with need; calming to his panic, nuzzling him to sleep... 

...The fire of desire blazing to anger at his challenge. 

Oh shit. 

It was _real_! All of it! Mulder had wanted him! Needed him! It had _all been real!_ ; the dreams _had_ been a message after all. He could speak countless languages, dialects, you name it but something so completely simple had needed no translation and still, he'd missed it! 

Fox Mulder wanted him. Had. And _he_ had... 

//Oh, fucking... Oh god, Fox...// 

Too late. Utterly, forever...too late! 

He sighed, shook his head weakly, realization making him feel sick as he began to rock slowly. "I...I _can't_ go back. No chance. Not now. He tossed me out." 

"I know. I was there." 

Krycek looked up. "You were...what?!" he choked out. 

Scully smiled back at him. "I was there. When you knocked on his door he'd just speed dialed me. Must have kept the phone in his pocket. I heard your voice and left right away. He'd called me, asked me to come over if you showed up. He wanted us to _all_ talk. Knew the three of us had issues to resolve if we're to _ever_ work together again. I think he was going to convince you to include me in the mix after he seduced you, I'm sure." She ignored the shocked face staring back. "I take it afterglow talk never made 'after' huh?" 

Krycek was still too stunned by the fact the woman had been there to even be embarrassed by her question. She had been there. In Mulder's... Had perhaps heard... He moaned, scared to even ask. "Scully... Did you..." 

"I heard everything." She ignored the horrified gaze. "I could care less if you two enjoyed yourselves, in fact, I wished you _had_. I was _more_ concerned about what I heard _instead_. I heard Mulder screaming at you. I heard him tell you to leave and I headed back to my car. I knew if he allowed you to go...without really knowing if he'd ever find you again, he'd never forgive himself when he got over the funk that had him yelling in the first place. I think he's pretty sick right now with worry. He suspected that if he got the chance that you might show up things might get tight. Given your past I think he was sure it would. Sure you'd balk before he could convince you that he was sincere. Obviously you did." 

Krycek didn't yell, instead sighing weakly. "I didn't balk. He _told_ me to _leave_. 

"And knowing how things usually are, you gave him a perfect reason to make you. At least you still have teeth." 

Mulder winced. So did Krycek but for a different reason. "Scully, let it go. It's done. He won. Like always. Three cheers for the 'force', Luke." 

Scully lowered her arms, stared hard at the man. "Don't you _ever_ get tired of it? 

"Of what?" 

"The pit-bull exterior, the 'West Side Story' shoulder chip, always spitting in the wind? Being an arrogant little shithole?!" 

Mulder blinked. Did _that_ just come out of... _Scully?!_ What was going on with his old partner? Krycek's eyes blazed as he stood up and Mulder tensed. "Do _you_ ever get tired of being a stuck-up prom queen?! A Magnolia blossom _debutante?!_ " 

//Ohhhh, Alex. You are _so_ dead!// 

Scully faced her nemesis with nothing more than a strange smile. "Actually, I never _went_ to a prom. Not that I wasn't asked, though. I was more interested in my class work than frivolous dances. And I was _never_ a debutante! I always saw all that as nothing more than a fashion show for an over-indulgent, elitist demographic. _I_ had _friends_. Friends that didn't care what my last name was, my status or how much money we did or didn't have. That was also the week my father always returned from naval assignment. _I_ came from a middle-class home, Krycek. _My_ idea of fun was spending that time with my father. Going to the aquarium. And _your_ point was...?" 

Mulder was stunned. So was Krycek. The man's whole body sagged as he eased back onto the sofa. Round two, again to Scully but he was still in the fight and went for a rabbit punch. 

"You know, you missed your chance." 

"What chance?" 

He smiled darkly. "Back then, when I was sick. You should have let me die. Bet old 'Skinman' didn't like knowing what you did." 

Scully's smile was enigmatic. Knew Skinner wouldn't like the name for sure. "Well, considering he still _doesn't_ know, it's a bit moot." 

Krycek green eyes went wide. "He doesn't _know?!_ " 

"No. I'm a doctor, Alex. It's my duty to _save_ lives. Even one as...well, it's my duty. If my employer's forgotten that, I can remind him. At his next checkup." 

Krycek laughed, impressed. "You've got balls, Scully. Ah, I mean you're tough." 

Scully shrugged but kept smiling. "I've had some tough life lessons, Krycek." 

Krycek checked his expression, merely nodded. "Yeah... I guess...I guess you have." 

" _Indeed_. So..." Scully pressed him. " _Do you?_ Ever get tired of it? Always being so hostile?" 

A nod admitted a lot; the words more. "Yeah. Sometimes...sometimes, I do but what's your average 'villain' _supposed_ to do, huh? Besides, nothing matters now. He told me to leave. _I did_." 

Well, well! Mulder sending him away _did_ bother him. Scully ignored the crassness and pushed the man to hear her. "Yet you didn't drive right off. I was sitting there in the car watching. You took some _time_ before you left. As if you were... _reconsidering_ leaving?" 

Krycek tensed and pulled his guards up quickly. "I-I was planning my next move. I needed to get my bearings." 

Waiting around, doing that at Mulder's was a good way to get the man killed. If someone had been interested enough to check in. Luckily, he got a break. But that wasn't it and she knew it. Cerulean eyes tightened on him as Scully growled in disgust. " _You_...are _so_ full of shit!" 

Krycek drew in a shaky breath but nodded in agreement. "So I've just been told." 

"Have you also been told how much someone _cares_ for you? How much that someone's suffering not just _because_ of you but because of not _being_ with you? Mulder knows you're taking down the Consortium, Krycek. He knows you're with the alien rebels and what they're planning to do. He's scared that you'll die before he can tell you he wants to join you. _We_...want to join you." 

Behind the door Mulder leaned back against the wall and panted in shock. How _could_ she?! She was right but he'd planned to talk to Alex about all that later. _Much_ later. 

//Yeah, dick head, but you threw him out! Where was the 'later' going to come from _this_ time, huh?!// 

Before he could gather his thoughts, he heard a small gasp and turned to peek out. Alex looked as badly rattled. "He-he what?" 

Scully rolled her eyes and sighed. "He wants you to stay, Krycek. With him. He believes together we can stop this madness. I don't exactly agree and we will probably _never_ be great friends, but for his sake I'm trying to get a grasp on this. _He loves you_. I've had to accept that, frightening as it is. He wants you. There. With him. He wants to team with you. He asked me to come to his apartment at a near precise hour, knew you'd be there. He also knew you might bail. I still believe he's suffering from some psychological trauma but he _insists_ you two have been sharing dreams; phases of your lives. He claims he's lived your life and you, his. _I_ think it's his way of pacifying the emotions he always seems to have around you, gives him a way to convince himself you can be trusted; if you know the pain and suffering he's endured. He's sure you know what he's been through, he's _sure_ he knows what you've been forced to do. We've _both_ seen how well you do that but _he_ seems to trust you now." 

Krycek hadn't heard anything more beyond the first 'with him'. Now he cut the agent off. "I dreamed about him, Scully. I dreamed about him, Samantha, his...his mom. That was the first dream. When I woke..." He buried his face in his hands. "Jesus! I've never felt anyone hurt so much. She turned her back on him, still blames him for something that happened nearly thirty years ago. Something he didn't have any control over to stop or prevent. Then...then when Bill... She-she... _God_..." Suddenly he broke down in sobs. 

Scully watched quietly, moved by what she was seeing despite who she was watching. He'd never cried in front of her before. Not even when he'd been hurt. Not even when he'd shot Augustus Cole. Not even when Mulder tossed him around. All those times he'd come back with a defiant air, a hiss of vulgarity clothed in Russian. Something was happening and she focused on it. 

Alex wasn't just responding to visions, memories, but the actual emotions. He was responding to the memory as if it were his own. He was heart-broken. Like Mulder, Krycek obviously had been inflicted with some rather painful moments. Hadn't had much control recovering from his dreams either. Things began to make sense. Horrifying sense. 

"When you woke, what? What else, Krycek?" 

Krycek wiped at his eyes and sniffed. "Alex." 

"S'cuse me?" 

Krycek sniffed again, blinked at her. "Alex. Not Krycek. I _hate_ the way you two call me that. At least _I_ don't make _your_ names sound like racial slurs." 

Scully actually rocked back shocked. "I... I _never_ intended..." 

"No...course you didn't. I suppose Blacks say the same thing under their breaths. 'Oh no...no, he didn't say _that_. He didn't mean _that_.' Try again, Scully." 

"All right... _my_ name's Dana." 

Behind the door, Mulder's head snapped up right in time with Krycek's as the latter blinked stunned. "What?!" 

"You don't like Krycek? Fine. _I_ only let Mulder and Skinner call me 'Scully'. It might be good to hear my first name now and then just so I don't forget how to answer to it. As of this moment you call me Dana and I'll call you Alex. Deal or does Mulder have exclusive rights?" 

Mulder watched Krycek's face, saw the slight smile and felt his heart swell. "No...not really. I mean...thanks. Thanks...Dana." 

Mulder nodded. This took a great deal for the woman to offer. He knew it and knew he owed her. //Yeah, thanks. I owe you, Scully. _A lot_!// 

"Da-Dana?" 

"Yes, Alex?" 

Krycek's eyes looked haunted. "I didn't kill Melissa, Dana. I swear to you I didn't." 

Scully's expression tightened. "But you were there." 

"Yes." 

"And you did nothing to stop it." 

Krycek hung his head, nodded once. "No, I didn't but it wouldn't have changed a thing. You didn't know Cardinale. He was a killer beyond anything I could _ever_ be. The only reason he ran was he knew he'd missed a 'mark'. _I_ ran because I was scared. I balked. I was his back-up in case he failed. I didn't want you killed either but we had orders. Take _you_ out and Mulder would falter. He'd drop his search, grieving too much for you and blaming himself. They could go on with their plans. I knew he _would_ too. He _needs_ you. You're the oxygen to his flame, Dana. You give him the scientific view, keep him grounded, focused. I realized it too late so I was hoping, _trying_ to find a way to convince Cardinale that we didn't need to kill you. Scare you, yes. Maybe even kidnap you; enough for Mulder to call it quits. Then we could send you back, he'd have been warned enough to drop it. Melissa got there too soon, before we could position ourselves and Luis panicked. As soon as she opened the door...started into the room, he fired. When we realized it wasn't you...we fled. I _did_ call '911' before I got out. I thought..." 

Krycek paused, swallowed and looked away from the woman, the heart aching expression and choked back tears. "I thought she'd _make_ it. I _wanted_ her to make it. I _liked her_ , Sc-Dana. She was nice. She didn't hate me. I wished it hadn't happened but Luis paid for it. He's dead. Still... I...I'm _sorry_. I _really_ am." 

"What about the dream, Alex. What was it about that dream?" 

In the kitchen, Mulder sighed. It wasn't a complete absolution of guilt but for his partner it said a lot. She was willing to take Krycek's words as they were. For now. 

"I..." Krycek shook his head confused and concerned. "I think I understand now. Understand why he's the way he is. I...I've suffered the same. My parents..." He paused, drawing strength before he spoke. "Scully, they did the same to me. Took my parents and used me. They took his sister, used him, even...even Bill Mulder, in a way. I didn't know how bad it was for him. Now I do." 

He looked up at her. Really focused on her...with the most open expression he had. "He hates himself. Did you know that?" 

"Yes." 

"And you're cool with it?" 

"No, Alex, but all people get upset with themselves from time to time." 

"You have a _real way_ with being obtuse when it serves you. You know _exactly_ what I mean." 

Mulder did too. Stared off wondering if he should leave. If it was worth it. In the living room Scully nodded. "All right, I do. So go on." 

"Well, he blames himself for a lot of it. Even things he didn't have any control over." 

Scully stared. "Many of which, were thanks to you." 

Mulder was stunned. Despite the terseness something amazing was happening. Something he doubted to ever see again. Scully and Alex were... 

//Talking?!// 

True, it _was_ tight but the fact they were at all gave him a thin thread for hope and he clung to it for all his worth. 

Krycek stared at her but there was no anger in it. "I _was_ getting to that." 

Scully shrugged. "Thought I'd save you time. Now, what did you learn?" 

"That..." Krycek stared around the room. "I think I owe him an apology." 

"Did you kill Bill Mulder, Alex?" 

Krycek nodded sadly. "Yes." 

In the kitchen, Mulder's eyes snapped shut, pain tightened his breath yet he remained where he was. 

Scully's eyes had gone hard, her hand easing towards her pocket when Krycek sighed. "Yes, Dana, I killed him. Only because if I didn't Cardinale had orders to kill us both." 

Mulder looked up shocked as did Scully and the younger man looked right at her. "After we failed our hit on you... You have _no_ idea what that cancerous bastard did to both of us. I..." 

Krycek's expression paled slightly and Mulder knew _he_ had a _good_ idea what had happened to the man. The green eyes lost focus for a moment then went hard as Krycek shivered. "Suffice we really pissed him off. I paid heavily for it but I think Luis got worse. Anyway he was told to mark me. If I failed to take Bill out he was under orders to kill us both. Make it look like I'd broken in, been surprised and wounded even as I shot back. Make no mistake, Dana, Bill was going to die that night no matter what. It was just a call on whether he died _alone_." 

Scully frowned. "There's a hole in that theory. Bill didn't have a gun..." 

"On him? No." Krycek confirmed. "But the man owned two Remington revolvers, one 'Saturday Night Special', in mint condition I might add, and three Sigs from his government days. I _know_ what he had, Dana, and where. I was informed. So was Cardinale. I don't doubt he'd already been there, had one of the guns ready just in case I...failed. Again." 

In the kitchen, Mulder shook with anger and outrage. Krycek sighed heavily, raked his fingers through his hair and went on. "Bill was about to reveal everything, Dana, the whole ball of wax. I don't know why; maybe he was tired of the Consortium, the whole game. Maybe he wanted to absolve his involvement in it, I really don't know. But what I _do_ know is that if he talked to Mulder, your partner would already be dead now. Everyone that's started to spill it is dead now; Deep Throat, X, don't you get it? Old Smoker doesn't like to lose, has some sick, twisted idea this is a game. One he wants to win big time. Mulder is just another pawn, same as all of us. He's important to the game, to Cancerman. Don't ask why, I can't go into that but trust me on _this_... He's interesting only up to a _point_." 

Krycek looked up and nodded in confirmation. "When that time's up there might not be anymore breaks." 

"Still, you killed Bill Mulder to save your own hide. Very self-serving." 

Krycek didn't flinch, nodded again. "Yeah, I did. But like I said, Bill was going to die that night no matter who pulled the trigger. The only difference was how many bodies would be there for Mulder to find." 

Scully looked disgusted. "Does Mulder _know_ about this? All of it?" 

"No. Only that I killed Bill but not why or the reasons behind it." 

"Self-preservation." Scully snorted. "I'm _sure_ he knows about that where you're involved." 

Krycek looked up angrily, green eyes blazing. "You still don't get it! It doesn't matter about me! You both know what's at stake, know what's going to happen and you're still alive! All that's changed are the moves on the board. It's still _his_ game. He's still going to win! Even though you know the truth now it doesn't matter anymore. In fact, I think he's enjoying it more _because_ you know. You still can't stop him!" He shook his head slowly, eyes loosing their anger, filling faster with remorse. "And if you keep trying... You're still in danger, Dana. So's Mulder. I didn't change a damn thing. Just...delayed it. Maybe." 

"Alex?" 

Krycek turned to look at her, the long, thick lashes enhancing the open green gaze to breathtaking proportions. Scully was shocked. //My god, but he's _beautiful_!// She checked her feelings and stared him down. "One question. One answer. And it better be the truth. Do you _love_ him?" 

Krycek nodded, spoke without hesitation. "Yes. I love him. I always have. It's why I can't walk away, keep coming back. I need him, Dana. I need to be near him, to be...touched by him. Even if it's with his fists. His feet. At least...at least he's _touching_ me. And I... I can pretend..." He lowered his head. "I can pretend it's more. Pretend he really...wants me." 

Scully gasped but said nothing. Behind the door, Mulder bit his fist to keep from screaming, eyes filling but he didn't move. 

Krycek sighed painfully before he looked back up. "I know what you're thinking. I'm sick. Demented. I probably am. After what I've lived don't know too many people that wouldn't be. I believed the shit they told me, thought I was on the right side and that you two... Well, by the time I realized it, it was too late. Some things I tried to stop, tried to fix, some I knew better than to even go near. I paid for the times I did, believe me. Still, I've tried to fix it where I could; tried to give Mulder...you, the answers I could. I put my neck out, Dana. A lot of times. Seems Mulder's the only one that really tried to twist it off." 

Scully opened her mouth and he wagged her off. "Just hear me out, okay?! I tried to give him hints, tips, whatever I could. I tried to lay out all the puzzle pieces that I knew of, in the hopes he'd put them together, figure it out and find a way to get us all out safely. I should have known he'd focus on me, want vengeance on _me_. To him I'm _still_ the main problem. I know none of this justifies, makes anything I did right but... Well, it doesn't matter anyway. He still hates me, can't trust me." He lifted his left arm, let it drop back. "Even with this...he's the _only_ one that's ever really hurt me. Where it counted. My heart. Believe what you want, Dana, but I _do_ have one." 

Mulder leaned his head against the cool plaster, pain lancing his chest. What had he done? All these years? Was it really too late to mend it? Could he convince Alex he trusted him? 

_Did_ he trust him? Yes, yes he did. Now. The dreams _were_ more than mere illusions. They had given him a view into the window of Alex's soul. A deep, pain-filled soul that hadn't wanted to become what it was; still wanted to be what it could. 

He also knew that soul had been beaten down, abused, trained to deception, deceit and hate. He'd put a great deal of that there as well. Alex didn't trust easily, if at all, but strangely from the moment they met he'd seemed willing to give Mulder exception and what had he done? Ignored the man, felt him a hindrance, a burden. Less than useful. No wonder Alex hadn't told him the truth. After all, what would he have _really_ done? 

//Just the same thing people have done to _you_ over the years. Snubbed you and your worth. Just like you did him, in the beginning and worse after you found out about him.// 

Suddenly it all came together. Everything. Mulder knew why the man had been sent to him. Alex _was_ his match! In every way. Intelligent, inquisitive, willing to take risks to find answers. Once focused, dogged and determined. Willing to be considered eccentric at best, flat-out crazy at worst. Alex was all that he was and more sheathed in darkness. The dark part of him that wanted to do wrong to make right. Everyone had a shadowy part, most avoided it. His was made real - in the form of the man that had paid for it in the worst ways. 

He was right. Completely. It _was_ a game! From the moment they'd met, Alex had been at every confrontation. Like two grand chess masters they'd played the game against each other, move to counter move; neither winning, both merely keeping the game interesting. The Consortium had known this. Known exactly who to send into his midst. Counted on it. That they'd sent a foil so attractive, the better. A foil who just like him, was only now realizing how badly he'd been played. 

It was time they learned the error of their ways. 

Krycek laughed and the sound was mirthless, sad and deeply depressed. "Ain't it a riot? I'm in love with the good guy. Me, the...what was it? Oh yeah, the 'anti-Christ'. That what you call me, Scully?" 

"Where did you...?" 

"I'm not slime on someone's 'gene pool' either!" 

"Alex, I think you..." 

" _And_..." Krycek sniffed, "In regards to _my_ moral dipstick, _you two_ have driven the car dry a few times yourself, you know." 

Mulder nodded. They had. Pushed the line of ethical standing a bit to the left too often. Skinner had as well; covered up things for them and because of them. All in the name of stopping a more dangerous purpose. 

Scully shook her head in denial. "Alex, I don't recall _ever_ saying you..." 

"You didn't have to," Krycek sighed poking the side of his head. "I've been dreaming too, okay? Believe me, I've heard more of your scientific spouting than I'll ever forget." 

"Fine, then! At the time, it all _fit_!" 

Krycek nodded, looked off. "Yeah. Figures." He turned back and shrugged. "I... I want to say, um..." 

"Yes?" Scully sensed something important was about to happen. In the kitchen, Mulder leaned forward nervously. 

Green eyes tried to dart away, were locked by blue ones and the young man swallowed nervously. "I wa-wanted to say, um, back... Back at Mulder's that time. When I was sick... Um, thanks. Thank you for...for sa-saving my life. I didn't know how bad I was..." 

"You were bordering the later stages of septicemia, Alex. Another few hours and blood transfusions might not have helped you. You arrived in Mulder's apartment in time to save your life." 

The man made a soft doubtful sound. "Yeah. Mulder could have killed me faster. I took a risk!" 

Outside the door Mulder clenched his eyes in pain. He'd taken the same risk, ruined it more. "Well," Scully sighed. "Whatever the reason, you were there and we were able to help you. Do you know what happened? How you got so sick? Alex, that... _area_ of your arm was badly infected then." 

He thought back, to that time so long ago in Mulder's apartment. The pain, his arm (what was left of it then) throbbing in agony to his heartbeat. "No. I...it was sore all along. Wearing that fucking...the arm! It hurt all the time, but I guess I just nicked it. Made it worse. I tried to take care of it when it really started hurting but every time I tried to it just... It made me sick to touch it. Dizzy and nauseous. I remember that." 

"You should have taken better care of it. Didn't someone tell you how to look after yourself? Clean and keep it protected?" 

Krycek looked up, eyes tight with disgust. "A bit hard when you wake up alone in a forest, your arm's stuck in a pile of ashes and the stench of your own burnt flesh is up your nose. I didn't have time for niceties, Dana. I was in shock, I guess. I managed to get to a cabin and the people took me back to Moscow. The doctor there patched up the rest; gave me some meds but that was then. I didn't see many of them afterwards. I was too...busy." 

Scully wisely skipped that one, nodded on another. "Well, it's a bit moot now." She tipped her nose to his restored arm. "Mulder told me about that too. I'm impressed. It does really look like it's..." 

Suddenly Krycek wheeled off, turned and there was a switchblade in his hand. Mulder jumped. Scully hadn't even twitched. Both watched as the younger man sliced his palm then held it out. 

"There! It's red, Scully. Red blood! _Real_ blood! From a _real_ arm!" Krycek curled up his hand and turned away. "You still don't believe it's really me, do you? Is _that_ why you came. To be sure Mulder wasn't walking into a trap? _Me_?" 

"No," Scully remarked. "I know it's you. I don't think a clone would feel like this. Be so rattled and upset. Emotional responses to things aren't inherited, they're learned. And no clone would wait _this_ long before it attacked." She reached into her other pocket, pulled out a handkerchief and tossed it to him. "Wrap that, I'll look at it in a few." 

"S'kay. I'm fine. It's not deep. Doesn't even sting." 

Mulder had a feeling in a few minutes it wouldn't even show much of a cut. If his dreams were right there as well. 

"I _said_ I'd look at it." Scully huffed, making her point. Then she smiled again. "I'm glad you made it okay." 

She actually sounded...sincere. "Yeah. I-I owe you..." Krycek looked up drawing a careful breath. "Dana?" 

Scully looked at him quietly, eyes solemn. " _Yes_?" 

Green stayed fixed this time, didn't skirt away and Krycek's voice was firm. " _Thank you_. For saving my life. I owe you a debt. Anything. Name it." 

Mulder tensed. He knew Alex would keep it, no doubt. Scully could destroy everything with a word. He watched his old partner shift slightly, tilt her head to the side and eye Krycek carefully. 

"From this moment on, don't _ever_ make me really _regret_ it!" 

Krycek knew better than to say a word on that. He lowered his head slightly, nodded firmly and Mulder let out a silent breath. The younger man stared down at his feet for a moment. "So..." He cocked his neck and looked at Scully hopefully. "All those names you used to call me... Now that you know stuff, more... Feel any different? Now?" 

Scully considered him carefully. "The jury's still out but I see possibilities. Definite possibilities." 

"Good. I wish..." 

"Wish what, Alex?" 

Krycek looked off with a shrug. "Wish I could tell someone that. That I'm not the demon they think I am. Not scum-sucking slime, either. That instead, I'm just as deep in the muck as they are." 

"Then do it." 

"Can't. Too late. I fucked up the whole thing. He doesn't want to see me." 

"Things change. So do people." Scully nodded then tipped her head toward the front door. "So, _Alex_...don't you have somewhere you _need_ to be?" At the flush on the man's cheeks she sighed tossing her head, red hair flying. "Oh, please. As if I _didn't_ hear you two earlier." She lifted up her fingers, pinched the air. "You two were _that_ close to consummating your feelings. Until the yelling started I thought I was going to hear you both harmonize." 

Behind the door Mulder nearly fainted, Alex wasn't much better sitting there turning a violent shade of crimson causing Scully snicker. "By the way... Come out from behind the door, Mulder. I've been hearing your breathing now for long enough. Come join the party." 

Slowly, Mulder peeked around the door, hair still standing in a spiky mess atop his head. He was dressed, jeans wrinkled, shirt loose over them; button-holes ragged as if he'd torn it off. His feet were bare and patted the floor as he walked. 

He'd rushed out all right. He looked like he'd been ready for sex. Scully couldn't help but feel a bit sad for him. After years, Mulder had gotten so close to _finally_ getting some. //And like usual, you manage to ruin your own good fortune. Still... _Krycek_?// 

She noticed the man's swollen hand and frowned. "What happened to your hand, Mulder?" 

He stopped before them, looked down at it and flexed gently, the reminder making it hurt a bit once more. "Nothing that you're thinking along the lines of. I shut it in the closet door. It's a little sore but I don't think it's broken. I iced it a little." 

"That's not the norm for you, is it?" 

Mulder shrugged avoiding Krycek's wide-eyed, jaw-dropped stare. "The situation wasn't exactly, either. Believe me." 

Krycek didn't make a sound. Scully let that one go, graced her partner with a sly smile. "I'll want to look at that a bit later but you seem okay. I knew the moment he left you'd be after us. How fast did you drive?" 

Mulder looked everywhere but at the two sets of eyes watching him and smiled weakly. "Not that fast. That construction work on the highway out slowed you both up enough for me to catch you. Glad you remembered the tracking device." 

Krycek stood up in shock. "Tracking device?! _What_ fucking tracking device?!" 

"Skinner's punishment to Mulder." Scully grinned as she reached into her coat again. She lifted out a small PDA device and held it up. "For all those self-indulging adventures he took without authorization. Someone had to cover for us and Skinner did a bit too much. Now both our cars have them. All the requisitioned cars for the FBI are equipped with one. In these days and times, it's good to know someone's keeping up with you." She focused on the two men carefully. "You know, having someone to _watch your back_." 

Krycek's mouth opened and closed soundlessly then he twitched when she tossed the PDA to him. As he caught it she sighed. "That's set to the frequency on the one we put on your car. _Only_ one that's set to it. Once you remove it and destroy that, no one can find you. You can go hide in the dark again..." Krycek blinked. "...if that's what you want. 

He glanced at the device, remembered something similar, and remembered the pain he'd inflicted. Gasping, he dropped it onto the coffee table. While the man looked stunned, Scully turned and eyed Mulder directly. "I could have called you once I got here, Mulder. You didn't need to rush; you would have heard the phone. You're not that deep a sleeper." 

Krycek responded too quickly for his own good. "Just how the hell do _you_ know?!" He realized how it sounded, knew what the others must be thinking and quickly attempted to brush it off. "I mean, I... Fuck!" He slumped back onto the sofa, shamed and defeated. 

He turned away as Scully grinned. "Now _that_ was the tone of a jealous lover, or I'm blond." As Mulder rolled his eyes she chuckled. "I've spent more case-time with Mulder than you ever will, Alex. Believe me, sleeping in a hotel room adjacent to his you hear a lot of stuff. Did you know he sometimes recites equations, theories and full extraterrestrial presentations in his sleep?" 

Mulder shook his head worried. He made other sounds too. Sounds he'd prayed over the years she never really heard. "Now, Scully..." 

"Listening to Mulder barking out about ghost stories, Bigfoot sightings, manifestations of poltergeist, corn field patterns...it's really annoying. From now on..." She bent down and pulled the younger man to his feet before shoving him in Mulder's direction. " _You_ can deal with it. Now...go to sleep you two. Please. So I can." 

Krycek twisted away, seemed magnetically drawn to the outer door. "No. No, it's okay. I know you two have things to do. I...I'll be fine and it's dangerous. You could have been followed. I'll need to leave here, find another..." His voice dropped off realizing the others were staring at him unconvinced. "Okay. Guess that didn't work." 

"You're right, it didn't," Scully snorted. "That is, if they can read license plates. They know we're here. They already know it's compromised. They wouldn't expect you to return if you manage to..." she crooked fingers, "you know, 'escape'? It's really a 'safe house' now. And considering all the turns, the doubling back you did, I doubt, unless they do jigsaw puzzles in their spare time they'll even find it." 

Mulder glanced at his soon-to-be lover and smiled tentatively, testing the waters. "I can...stay, Alex. If just for tonight." He glanced at the window, the slight brightening and shrugged. "Okay, for the _day_. I can stay, if _you want_ me to." He looked directly into green eyes begging with all his heart. "Okay? Please?" 

Mulder wanted to stay. Here. With him. It was too unreal to believe. At Krycek's hesitation he pushed. "Alex, Scully's here. She'll watch over us. I...we need to get this all settled. I...I fucked up. Royally. I should have talked, not yelled. And I shouldn't have made it sound like we were back to that old shit. That's over and done. No more of that but we _have_ to talk. Some more." 

"If at all or ever," Scully murmured softly. 

"What was _that_ , Scully?" 

Blue eyes twinkled back at him. "Nothing, Mulder. Just hoping for some sleep. So if you'll excuse me." 

She walked past to a closet, tugged the door open and rising on tip toe, pulled down two blankets and a pillow. Neither man moved as she walked back to the sofa. They remained standing as she pulled off her coat, dropping it onto the side chair and tugged the sofa open. Quickly, she flipped the blankets out one over the other on the mattress. 

Krycek, staring at the bed linen, gasped stunned. "How the hell did you know...?" 

Scully chuckled, eyeing Mulder who could only look back weakly. "Thought _you'd_ know _all_ the shorts cuts, Alex. How do you think I got here _before_ you? I put the tracker on your car a few weeks ago. The last time you broke into Mulder's. Seems he also knows what you drive." She inclined her head. "A Lexus. Very nice." 

Krycek shivered but remained where he was. Mulder kept quiet for once feeling a shocked stare drilling through his back as Scully went on. "We set the device but we hadn't used it until tonight, I swear, and only for Mulder. I couldn't guess where you'd go but I've been _here_ , Alex. So has he. How else would he know which door to hide behind? He claims it was a dream that told him where you were. Same as the car. He knew how to find it. The first time we came to the neighborhood, he drove right up to the door. Described your place before he had the lock picked. I knew where to hide while you showered. I _know_ this opens to a sleeper. You're not getting to be like _him_ , are you?" 

Krycek spun around actually looked incensed. "You picked the _lock?!_

Mulder merely stared at him. "Now you know how it _feels_." 

Krycek wheeled on Scully hissing like a cobra. " _What did you take?!_ " 

"Not a thing." Scully responded looking smug. "We know what's in the fridge; know where you've got your stash in the toilet tank." She ignored the panicked expression. "We _didn't_ come here to raid it." 

"Yeah. Sure!" 

"Check it yourself. Everything's right where you put it. You won't find any bugs. At least not any _we'd_ put here. No cameras, no fingerprint dusting, nothing. We came here unofficially, Alex. We came here for Mulder's sake and no one else." 

"You _really_ think I'm going to believe that?" Krycek scoffed. 

Well, few things change after all, Scully thought. The man just had to keep the walls up. Even if he'd added a few windows. She admonished him with a smile. "Alex, you're doing it again." 

"Doing what?" 

"Going on the defensive. Slamming doors and windows shut instead of letting the fresh air in. It comes with some pollen, yes, but it's better for you than stagnant air." 

Krycek's brows wrinkled. "What the hell does air and pollen have to do with..." The brows lifted. "Oh. Analogy. Got it." He glanced at Mulder and chuckled nervously. "I...I guess I _did_ jump the gun, huh." 

Mulder's answering smile was more cautious. "No worse that me. I really went off and I didn't mean to. Sometimes you just...well, you just piss me off." 

"So..." Krycek looked curious. "Why exactly did you come here? If you weren't out to bust me?" 

Mulder shrugged. "I... _we_ were looking for something that might explain the dreams I've been having. We took water samples but yours turned out the same as mine. Negative. At least _this_ time." 

Krycek ignored the insinuation, nodded in understanding. "You think they may be testing us. Trying to see which way we'll fall? Like the 'dark side'?" 

Scully shook her head and pressed fingers to the bridge of her nose. "What _is it_ with you two and 'Star Wars'?" 

Both men grinned at her as Mulder explained. "You need to go rent it again, Scully. The analogies and similarities to today's conspiracy theories are intriguing. Obi Wan knew all along." 

Scully nodded trying not to roll her eyes. " _Of course_." She gazed around the room and coughed loudly before speaking from the side of her mouth. "Well? You're here, get on with it." When Mulder dipped his head and mumbled she threw up her hands in a huff. "Oh, for the love of... Mulder, wasn't there _something_ you wanted to _say_ to Alex?" 

Mulder lifted his head and nodded. "Yeah. I ah... I'm...sorry, Alex. I didn't mean to chase you away." He tried to ignore Scully's presence, knew he had to explain. "What...what happened back there, ah, on the...the sofa... I-I went too far. Too soon. I just... I wanted..." He drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly forcing his eyes to stay on the younger man's. "I wanted to touch you. Really touch you. I went too far. I should have realized how it seemed; what you might have thought but it wasn't that. I-I really wanted to...touch you." 

As Krycek's eyes widened he rushed on. "I didn't think what you might believe, only wanted to show you what I _felt_. I didn't give a moment's thought that you wouldn't accept my feelings as real. I've had some time to think about that. I know what _you_ were thinking and I'm sorry." 

"And just _what_ was I thinking?" 

Mulder shifted, felt Scully's gaze on him and sighed. "That I was willing to seduce you for information, to use sex to get some answers. You were right. I _did_ want an answer, was willing to...to do _anything_ for it but what I wanted an answer to wasn't what _you_ thought." 

Krycek's eyes narrowed. "So...what _did_ you want to know?" 

"If you felt the same way _I_ did. If you maybe...wanted _me_. For a moment I...I thought yes." 

Silence rose up around them. Scully stood there hesitantly, eyes flicking back and forth between the two men. Krycek stood there saying nothing, handsome features now completely unreadable. Finally, Mulder lowered his eyes and sighed softly. So there it was. He'd said it and now he had his answer. He nodded slowly and turned away. 

" _You_ were right." 

He turned back to find Krycek now smiling slightly and nodding. "You were right. _I did_. But I was...scared. You did something I'd...well, you'd never done before. It freaked me. I decided to ignore everything you said. About the-the dreams. When you got me in bed then backed off... I thought it was all a con. Decided you were up to something because _that_ was easier to accept than the possibility you _actually_ wanted, _felt_ for me." He tried not to notice Scully looking at them. "I didn't want to allow myself to even _think_ that you..." He couldn't finish, left it. 

Mulder looked hopeful. "But you believe me? Now?" 

Krycek responded with his own nervous confession and soon both men were talking gently, carefully, still anxious to make any sudden moves and Scully's patience began to wear thin. She frowned tipping her nose up. "Do you think you two could _possibly_ kiss and make up now? Forgive each other for being stubborn, sometimes juvenile, always acerbic, difficult _pricks_ and try to find some common ground?! If you both love each other, and I know now you do, you're going to need to _find it_ in order to work together. So will you make up now?!" 

"Not in front of you," Krycek murmured, eyes locked on Mulder's. "It's private." 

"Get over yourselves, Alex, I've already heard it. I heard you both earlier and I know exactly what you were doing." She blushed deeply, face nearly matching her hair. "I ah...I've seen 'Queer As Folk'. Once!" The two men actually blanched and she waved off their shock. "There wasn't anything else on TV! Anyway, there's not much left to surprise me. Just make up and go to sleep. Or whatever!" 

"Scully? When did you become so cranky?" 

The petite woman stared her taller partner down with a hard look. "I'm _tired_ , Mulder. You haven't _seen_ cranky. This is just _irritated_. Cranky for me is only a step under PMS and remember...I have a gun! So will you _get on_ with it?!" 

Mulder slowly nodded, turned and moved towards Krycek who merely tensed but didn't try to flee. Still, he didn't get too close. "She's right, we _do_ need to find a working spot. I'll admit to being a pain if you will." He leaned in, offered his most open and willing smile ever. "Forgive me?" 

Krycek's was brighter. "If you can forgive me for doubting. I-it's _hard_ , Mulder. It's hard to have people care for me, they never have before. Unless it suited their needs and that didn't last long. It's hard to trust you not to hurt me anymore." 

The comment said a great deal. To all three of them. Scully paled slightly understanding a bit more about the triple agent. Mulder eased back and lifted his hands. "Then _you_ come to _me_ but only if you feel safe. I won't push or demand. And it's 'Fox', if you please." 

The younger man seemed reluctant. "You don't let people call you that, remember? You told me not to call you that." 

Mulder nodded. "I know. I shouldn't have turned away from you like that. I gave that to you on trust and just as quickly snatched it away. It's just...ahhh, it takes a bit of getting used to. Guess I should let you start. Maybe I'll let everyone call me that." He glanced at Scully in warning. "One at a time, of course." She merely graced him with a wane smile. 

Krycek stared at the arms but remained where he stood. "I thought you didn't want me." 

Mulder shook his head. "I've always wanted you but if you fear me, can't accept my feelings for you now as real, then it's not worth it. Not to hurt so much with need and yet what... _whom_ you need is close but not _here_. In your arms. I felt rejected. Same as you. I don't know why or how this is happening. Same as you. It was easier to yell back than admit how scared I was." The arms remained lifted out. "But I'm here now. If _you_ want _me_." 

"You...you _always_ wanted me?!" Krycek gaped at him. "This isn't some bullshit lie to fish for info? You're _telling me_ you always wanted _me_?!" 

Mulder nodded smiling. "Shocked?" 

"Well...yeah! You sure never made any attempt to show me. Unless an abusive relationship is your way of saying you _love_ someone." 

Mulder's smile washed off and he lowered his arms, hands curling into fists. Scully tensed. " _You_ never gave me a chance. You turned to them and betrayed me!" 

"I was already _with_ them before I knew it! Before I fucking ever _met_ you! I didn't _have_ a chance! I didn't have a choice!" 

Mulder yelled back. "You had _every_ chance! Every choice too! All you had to do was tell us the truth! We could have _helped_ you!" 

"You couldn't even help yourself! What makes you think you could have protected me?! _I_ couldn't even keep _you_ safe for all your nosing around!" Krycek shrieked, eyes flaming in hatred and Scully's hand slid to her hip and the pocket. 

"You call _all that_ keeping me _safe_?! Should have fucking slit my own wrists and saved you the bother!" 

"So why didn't you?! _I'll_ tell you why! You wouldn't be able to blame _me_ for it and we couldn't have that now, could we?!" 

Mulder took a menacing step forward and Krycek moved towards him. Scully sighed in disgust. They couldn't even agree they cared enough to disagree; preferring to veil it in their past animosity. It was time to end this for good. "Stop it, stop it, _stop it!_ " she yelled. 

As both men froze to stare at her, she composed herself, raking a hand through her hair with a hiss. "I _don't_ believe this! I really don't _believe_ this! I should have shot you _both_ a long time ago and been done with this! You two _disgust_ me! You're actually here, together, able to finally talk and what do you do? Start with the whole 'hate me, hate you, I can't trust you, it's not my fault' argument. _Face facts!_ Mulder, you didn't trust Alex because you had every reason _not_ to. Alex, you couldn't tell us what you were into because it would mean your death. You tried to give us what information you could but by then..." 

Krycek nearly sobbed in frustration. "What difference did it make, Dana?! Huh?! Tell me?! You still hated me! Still hurt me! And I tried so fucking hard to keep you safe, keep the Consortium nipping at your heels instead of chewing your legs off! It didn't matter one fucking bit! You still hated me! You don't know how hard I _tried!_ The shit I went through when I got you back, killing Cardinale for what he did, getting the Brit to side with you, give you all that..." 

Scully's eyes popped wide, Mulder's too and Krycek's mouth closed with a snap. 

//TMI! Too much info! _Fool!_ // 

He cringed with realization, spun away from them, rushed for the door and Mulder realized what he'd almost done. Again. "Alex, no!" he yelled. "Don't run! Please! We know all about that. Scully knows! She may have an answer!" 

The words froze the younger man dead in his tracks. He turned slowly eyes going wide. "What? What did you say?" 

Mulder glanced at Scully who managed a cautious smile. This was her partner's call. "Tell him, Mulder." 

He nodded and turned back. "I told her all about the dreams, Alex. Everything. Every moment, every fear, every concern, everything I could remember. Some things happened, others...well, she insisted on some tests. I think she...she thinks she may have found something." He glanced over to the woman. "You can explain this better than I can, Scully." 

"Alex, I ran tests on Mulder's blood, took a sample of spinal fluid. We ran a CAT scan, MRI and found elevated synaptic levels. An EKG showed increased brain activity in the hippocampus; the area that processes memory. I believe..." She glanced over to Mulder who closed his eyes and nodded weakly. "I believe Mulder's telepathy is back." She lifted her hand to pause the younger man. "Not completely, but enough to make him empathic, if you will, and...I can't believe I'm saying _any_ of this, but perhaps some elements of his memories, emotions were transmitted to you and he received yours." 

"I knew it!" Krycek snarled. "It _was_ all a sham! You're just fishing for info. Same as always." 

Scully frowned. "Alex, we aren't here to..." 

"Don't call me that!" the man growled. He took a step back towards the front door and green eyes darkened with rage. "I _know_ what you want and I said it before, I _don't_ have it to give! I don't _work_ for them anymore, don't you get it?! They want me dead! _You_ want me dead! Why go through this elaborate ploy when Mulder can just rip it out of my mind?!" 

Mulder shook his head vigorously as he moved forward. "No! Alex, no. We're not trying to ply for info. Not this time. Something's happening here, something I don't understand. I need you to..." 

"Ot'ebis!" Krycek barked. "Ot'ebis, mudack!"  <Fuck off, dumbass!>

Mulder's eyes narrowed. //Oh, you want to play _nasty_? Okay, babe. Here's looking at you.// "Otsosi!"  <Fuck you!> he snapped. 

Krycek's jaw sagged slightly. He stood there completely shocked. Standing to the side, Scully glanced back and forth between the two men. She didn't need to understand, the expressions said it all. She bit back a smile as Mulder glared. "Yeah Alex, I speak Russian! Any _other_ bitching you want to do? I think I can match you! I took the street-wise course! Got it?!" 

Krycek managed to recoup his shock and sneered in disgust. "You've been _busy_ , Mulder, but that's okay. I've got about another dozen languages left. Care to keep up? I still won't tell you anything!" 

This was going down wrong. Badly! Mulder thought back to the dreams. Taming _this_ cat might take a lot longer than he thought. He shook his head desperately. "No! No, Alex. I'm not hunting for anything. I don't think I can control this. Same as before only this time I'm only getting this through dreams. Think of something! _Anything!_ Try to send me a message! A thought! Please! Try!" 

"Sure! Here's an easy one for you. _Fuck!_ _You!_ " 

" _Listen to me_!" Scully barked. "Alex, everything we say, do, experience, are stored in our memory. Most, deep in our subconscious. Sometimes remnants, fragments, images of something we can't even remember are accessed. That feeling of dj vu we all have is due to this. Memories we aren't even aware of can resurface. I believe that's happening here. I believe Mulder's experiencing past encounters with you but his subconscious is giving him a different signal. He's remembering things, reliving the past, along with some images that may be his own responses to those signals; thereby creating a scenario to him of living as you. He says he's remembering these from _your_ perspective." 

"Bullshit!" Alex hissed. "Explain _me_ then. Explain _my_ dreams!" 

"I can't." Scully sighed. "Not without running some tests." She noted the headshake and frowned. "Alex, without tests I can't be sure but I wouldn't be surprised if you _also_ show these increased levels of brain activity. _You_ could be the one projecting instead of Mulder." 

"From miles away? Not even in contact with each other? You're trying _too hard_ Scully," Krycek sniffed but his tone had softened. He was thinking. She jumped on it. 

"Perhaps, but you know the Consortium best. You know what they're capable of. What they've already done. Think! Is this something beyond their ability? With 'external' help? Think! You were both exposed to the Black Oil; we've all been experimented on in some form or fashion, Alex. Had memories removed or replaced. Remember the nanocites? Skinner? He died! You brought him back. Think! Is _this_ so impossible for them? Is it _that_ hard to fathom?" 

Alex sighed, lowering his head. "Damn them!" he hissed. "They _could_ do it. I thought we'd trashed all the labs, destroyed everything. If there was one we missed, if they've started all over... Damn!" 

Mulder took a stab. "Alex? I know you have _no_ reason to believe or trust me, trust us, but Scully's telling you the truth. I don't know if I'm sending out messages, images or not but we're both remembering things neither of us have _ever_ shared with each other. I _know_ what happened in Tunguska, I know you brought me home that night I got really drunk, and I know..." He glanced over to Scully who nodded carefully. "We know about the two gang members in the alley near the club sector." 

"I don't know what you're talking about, Mulder. What alley? What gang?" 

"Alex..." 

"I don't have anything more to say to you." He turned away. "Just leave. Both of you." 

Mulder pushed. "Alex, it's okay. We know. You protected yourself that night. It's..." 

"Don't come back here, Mulder. Ever. I won't be using this place again." 

Mulder frowned, ignored the request. "Alex, we already know about that. I was there! In...in a way. I also know they would have mugged you, probably killed you for cash. What you did was self-defense." 

The younger man tensed listening to the agent nearly describe the scene perfectly. Minus a personal view or two. All the more _not_ to confess. "Trying to absolve me of a crime, Mulder? Before I even committed one for once? How gracious of you but I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know about any..." 

Scully's expression darkened but Mulder merely shook his head warning her off. "It doesn't matter, Alex. That was some time ago and actually not in our jurisdiction. Anyway, the _way_ they were found shook up the remainder of the gang. They didn't know their two top boys were... Well _whatever_ happened, it fractured the rest. They disbanded. Something I don't think that's ever happened, a gang folding up. In a way, it helped the neighborhood." 

Krycek thought back to that night, how he'd laid out the men's bodies, made it seem they were 'very close' and steeled his expression more. "Frankly Scarlett, you know the rest. I don't really care what happened. I'm _telling_ you... 

Mulder waved his hand in the air fiercely, tired of bothering. "Never mind, Alex! Accept that we know about it and if we were here to arrest you, you'd be in handcuffs already." He shook his head in frustration. "Look, I'm not asking you to submit to any tests. I don't think you _have to_. Scully and I are pretty sure you have the same elevated levels. I'm _asking_ you to accept the possibility we've been exposed to something we're not familiar with." 

Krycek seemed to calm, thought for a moment. "That would be _everything_ , Mulder. I know these people better than you'll ever come half close to. They're capable of a lot. You've only seen the tip of the iceberg and that alone is enough to scare the hell outta me! So..." He turned to Scully. "When did this happen? I haven't been near any of them recently, I'm kinda working free lance now. I sweep for bugs daily and this place is clean. I've left hints around the old places, my connections, I've made it seem I've really freaked, hiding low. Deep. They haven't come looking. Yet. You said you tested the water, could it be airborne?" 

Scully frowned. "Doubtful but I can't narrow it out. We've gone over Mulder's apartment since all this started, sweeping for anything out of the ordinary. Anything that might be able to release gases, fumes, we've looked for any kind of dispensing agent. Nothing. But again, it doesn't even have to be _recent_ exposure, Alex. This could have been implanted in you like a chip, or the nanocites, lying dormant for a specified time. It could be a natural response to the altered DNA in both your bodies. I haven't found anything physical to indicate the reason for Mulder's increased acuity but the elevated levels _are_ there." 

Krycek turned away, fists clenching. "Goddamn them! They swore they'd never fuck with me again! If I did _everything_ they wanted they said they wouldn't experiment on me anymore. They _swore_ it! Smoking dick gave me his word if I just did what he wanted! Fucking cocksucker!" 

Scully had clamped her hand to her mouth and now looked at her partner in horror. Mulder merely shrugged although his stomach swam like snakes. "Alex, we found stuff in your DNA back when you were sick. The time you passed out in my apartment. It wouldn't show up on a general exam, not unless you knew what to look for. Most GP's aren't going to do high-resolution scans or test for DNA mutations. Scully did. I asked her to. I...I was sure you knew. No 'normal' human could grow back a limb. I mean your arm... " 

Krycek turned back. His features were strangely resigned instead of angered now. "I _did_. I've been nothing more than a tinker toy to them. I didn't want to accept it. When the rebels found me, offered... I just hoped... I _wanted_ them to have a better way. I guess I just wanted a plain old miracle. Shit!" 

He lifted his arm out from his body, stared at it for a moment then shook his head and turned back to Scully. "Yeah...explains a lot. Just great. I'm a freak." He lowered it and nodded. "Okay...so you said it _doesn't_ have to be a substance inside us. Could it be some device planted near us? Mulder's place? Mine?" 

Scully considered it. "Perhaps, although we haven't found anything at Mulder's to suggest it. Is this the only place you've been in recently?" When Alex remained silent she shrugged. "All right, didn't really expect an answer there but it could be some transmitter, some device that can access and recall images. There _is_ something else I need to tell you." 

Krycek sighed in misery. "Just like the few doctors I've dealt with, a perpetual harbinger of gloom and doom. What _else_?" 

Scully had bridled at the younger man's words. Now she fixed him with a cool stare. "I found residual chemicals in Mulder's blood. I'd lay even odds the same are in you too." 

Alex blanched and panted, "I don't do that anymore! Not at all. I..." 

He paused, eyes flickering to the bathroom door and Scully chuckled back at him. "I wasn't referring to _that_ kind of chemical. We found something we've never seen before. The lab's only been able to isolate one element, and it's only a trace. It's not too dissimilar to one used to treat stress. It's used in the making of Valium." 

Alex shook his head. "Uh-uh. No way. I don't use that stuff. I mean a beer, an occasional 'j' is enough for me. I don't like that stuff, Dana." He looked off again. "It makes you...controllable." 

No one touched that. Instead, Scully nodded. "I'm sure but the trace elements _are_ there in Mulder's. It would stand to reason they'd be in yours as well since you're having a similar reaction." 

"Okay," Alex considered. "Someone wanted to mellow us out. I could have saved them the money with a couple of Buds or something. Question is...why?" 

"I'm guessing to make you more susceptible to influence. These...dreams...may be an experiment. If you were completely relaxed you'd be more likely to accept any signals, transmissions, that were sent to you. That would explain how he was able to find this. I'm sure images of the surrounding landscape helped to identify the location." 

Krycek considered it. "Okay, makes sense. Scary sense. But still...why? What good would it do?" 

Scully looked deeply unhappy. "It would bring you together. Like right now. You'd both need some way to deal with it. I'm guessing it was expected, hoped, that you'd do exactly what you're doing now. Talk. Together. Only I think someone wanted it more in the open. In order to take you both out." 

Mulder shifted, eyes going tight. Krycek looked equally pissed. Scully knew neither man was concerned for himself but she kept her expression hard. "I think it would be set up that you both confronted one another. That your personal animosity would be enough for you to lay blame on the other. Kill one another and that would be it. Or if not, it could be _made_ to look as though you had. Either way, they'd be free of both problems, wouldn't consider me a danger anymore. With Mulder gone, they could easily _suggest_ I be returned to Quantico. Know I'd go with little objection. They know I'd leave it because I couldn't stand against them alone. You two would be dead and they would finally be free." 

It _was_ possible but for some reason neither man wanted it that way. Both regarded her with skepticism and Mulder shook his head. "Scully, that all has merit but why can't you just _accept_ that we..." 

" _Because_ Mulder," Scully's expression went tight. "I'm a scientist. And a _physician_. You've both been exposed to something, some chemical or neurological test that explains this much better than you simply _dreaming_ about each other. Until you prove otherwise _that's_ what I'm standing on. _It_ is logical." 

Leave it to Scully. The woman was practical if a bit unimaginative. Mulder thought for a moment. "Alex, do you think your current 'associates' could help? Perhaps they're familiar with this, may know what's happening. If Scully and I could talk to them..." He left it out there and waited. 

Krycek shrugged. "Maybe. They're far more advanced than we are. I still don't know why they're interested in helping, want to protect us, but they've kept their word so far." His left hand flexed as he looked at them steadily. "They've already proved themselves to me but they have to stay _hidden_ , Mulder. _Deep_. Our lives, the whole world, depend on them and what they can do to prevent the future from happening. The one we _don't_ want. I won't divulge their locations or who they are. Not even to you." He frowned then sighed. "At least not _yet_." 

The two agents exchanged a quick look. Loyalty? From Alex? To an alien force? To _anyone_? It was a surprise. Mulder accepted it faster. "Fair enough," he noted. "We'll set up times and places to meet. We want in, Alex. Both of us. Maybe Skinner too, once we find out more. For now, we'll let you make the call on this. They know you. You'll have to speak for the rest of us." He looked away for a moment before turning back to his former partner with a careful smile. "Nice to be working with you again." 

Alex nodded catching the rest. "I know. I wished I could have given more away but I warned you way back we were in deeper than any of us could have realized." He turned to Mulder. "I tried to warn you when you caught me with the bombs. Before Russia. You didn't want to hear." 

"Alex..." 

"Tell me this... Why didn't you let Skinner kill me? That night, when you both had me down, wounded...why didn't you let him kill me then?" 

Scully glanced over to Mulder, eyes widening. "What?! What did he say?!" 

Mulder sighed and stared at the ceiling. "I _was_ going to tell you about that, Scully. At some point. It just...slipped my mind." 

" _I see_ ," Scully murmured, voice disapproving. 

Mulder turned back to her. "I was. I just...so much happened after that, that I...um..." He stopped knowing how shallow the words were. He could remember nearly everything and she knew it. 

Krycek interrupted snarling. "Why, Mulder?! Why did you pull him off me?! Why did you drag him off and leave me there? I could have bled to death!" 

Mulder shook his head slowly. "You wouldn't have. I suspected after the Black Oil, the silo, everything, you were altered. I figured you'd heal okay once you got the bullet dug out of your arm." He moved slowly and reached for the arm in question, ignored Krycek's tensing and fingered the scar area through the shirt. "Skinner wanted revenge, wanted to pay you back for injecting him with the alien nano technology. I needed to stop him." 

Krycek backed away. "So _you_ wanted to shoot me, then walk off and pretend nothing happened. Let me die and you both go back to your clean desks, clean hands, and act like _you_ didn't slip below the radar, huh? You've been around Smoking Boy too much, Mulder. _Way_ too much!" 

Mulder got the implication and frowned lowering his arm. "I didn't want Skinner to make a mistake. You were still useful. I needed him to understand that. I didn't want him to make a grievous error too soon." 

"Uh-huh... _too soon_. Thanks. Still doesn't explain _why_ you saved me." 

Mulder looked up and locked his gaze on the younger man's. "I didn't. I merely reminded Skinner that _you_ saved _him_." 

"What?!' 

"Alex, you injected him with those nanocites then tried to kill him. Pretty much did in fact but under orders I'm sure. You also brought him back. You could have left it, let him die. I had to remind him that every time you did something wrong you tried to find a way to fix it; to redeem yourself a bit. I needed him to leave you be; let you do what I felt you were doing all along. Countering the Consortium. Trying to buy some time. I gave you the chance to fix it all." 

Krycek blinked slowly, licked his lips and whispered. "Then you believed me, what I said then. That I knew stuff, knew things I could give you freely. That there was still more you could do." 

"Yes. It was hard. I did want you dead then. I can't and won't lie about that. I was willing to let Skinner kill you. I was _that_ angry, that hate-filled enough not to care anymore. I knew he was going to but I also knew it wouldn't change anything with the Consortium. You'd be gone, they'd still be here and a source of info, even a traitorous one, would be lost. I made a choice then and took the lesser of two evils." 

"Yeah. Thanks for the vote of confidence." 

It was a deeply wounded tone Mulder heard. " _Alex_..." 

"No, it's okay. I know why. I didn't ever give you a reason to believe anything I said but what I'm going to say now, is the _truth_." 

Mulder stiffened, prepared to hear the words that would end all his hopes and dreams. Even the dreams he'd yet to have with this man. He knew he deserved Krycek's hate and mistrust. He'd done little in recent times to earn anything else. "And what's that?" 

Krycek gazed at him carefully. "I...trust you, _Fox_. Now tell _me_ the truth." 

Mulder didn't hesitate, lifting his arms again. "I love you." 

Krycek sighed, walked right into the outstretched arms and nuzzled Mulder's cheek. "And _I_ love _you_. I _never_ lied about that." 

Mulder held him close, lowered his head onto his lover's shoulder with a weak moan. "Why do we do this? Why do we keep _doing this_? Why do we..." He moaned again and rocked them slowly from side to side. "I...I'm sorry." 

"Stop..." Krycek whispered easing back. "My fault too. Damn it, we both need to...we need to calm down. We're like a mongoose and a snake. Ever circling, looking for a chance to strike. I can't live like that. Not anymore. I don't want us to _be_ like that. Never did." He eased back into the welcoming embrace with a weak sigh. "Never wanted to fight in the first place. Anytime. I love you too much to keep going on like this." 

Mulder lifted the younger man's chin and leaned in, lips brushing his lover's mouth. "I love you too, Alex. I really do. No more fighting. Well, we may argue a lot, but no more real fighting. My promise." 

He waited until Krycek finished nodding, "Me too, Fox. Me too" then he kissed softly, let it build, pulling Krycek in as tight as he could while the man responded, moaning, grinding his body in closer as if he could actually walk into Mulder's skin and share it. 

Scully watched the kiss deepen, grow into something full and strong and beautiful. Felt the surge of love between the two men, knew it was true and knew it would be served. They were committed now. To each other. Thank God! 

Mulder chuckled as they parted. "See? You _have_ to let me into your life now. Besides, you left your jacket at my place. You have to come back to get it. And when you do, I may not let you leave." 

Krycek sighed. "I need it too. Lucky I had my car and house keys in my pocket, I was freezing. That's one reason I didn't leave right off. I had the heat running to warm up first. You tore my damn shirt up, Fox. I was freezing my tit..." Scully made a hard barking sound and the man grunted. "Ah...freezing my tail off. I was also trying to decide if I could break back in and get it." He glanced down at Mulder's feet. " _You're_ going to catch pneumonia running around like this." He pulled the man in with another sigh. "What am I going to do with you?" 

Mulder peeked up from where his head nestled against a warm neck and threw his heart out on his sleeve one last time. "Love me?" he chirped. 

Krycek sighed again, petting the thick hair. "I've got no choice but I don't mind this time and I'll probably have to take care of you as soon as the shivers sink in. Geez. Running out barefoot in the cold and no coat. You're crazy." 

Scully sniffed, "No comment" but Mulder ignored her. "Alex? Just so you know I'm not a very good patient when I'm sick. I'm demanding one moment, whiny for attention the next." He glanced up at Scully who managed to only nod at him. "Well, so I've been told." He looked back to his love. "You might have your hands... _full_ , taking care of me." 

It was a sly aside that none missed. Scully moaned flopping down on the sofa. Krycek's lips twitched as he fought not to laugh and looked serious. " _Well_... I'll have to see about some additional care for you. Someone capable of keeping you in line if I'm not there." 

Mulder stiffened. "You said..." 

Green eyes tightened. "I _said_ I couldn't promise I wouldn't leave. Might have to, to keep you safe. But I _also_ said I'd come back as soon as I could. I meant it." 

Mulder smiled broadly. "You dreamed that one too, huh?" 

"Maybe _I_ sent it to _you_." Krycek looked coy. "Now... Getting back to that care... Any ideas on that?" 

"Needs to be a 'he'." 

"Any reason _why_?" 

"Um..." Mulder fought for an acceptable answer that didn't make it obvious. "Well, he'd need to be able to um... _carry me_ to my bed if I woke up and later felt dizzy or weak. Yeah. Ah, a strong _guy_ would be helpful." 

Krycek nodded going along with the game. "Good call. Guy, it is." 

"And...he needs to be a good cook. Wouldn't do for me to get burned trying to sneeze and stir soup at the same time. Right?" 

Mulder's face pleaded but Krycek wasn't going to let up just yet. He nodded back, face still reflecting a serious mien, Scully all but forgotten in this moment with his love. " _Oh no_." Green eyes twinkled with a head bob. "Couldn't have dear Fox getting singed, now can we?' 

"Uh-uh," Mulder whined, wiggling closer to his lover's hand that was patting him in a good place. "Any suggestions?" 

Krycek chewed on his lip. "Hummm, let me check around. I'm pretty sure I can find someone ah...up for the job." A gagging sound from the sofa was ignored by both men. "Now, hold on... I know this retired butcher that's about two-ninety give or take a pound, can haul hundred-pound slabs of rump roast without breaking a sweat _and_ he owns a deli shop now. Makes the best hoagies in town. You'd get a two-for-one deal. Let me make a few calls... Hey!" 

Krycek hooted as Mulder poked him in the ribs with a snarl. "I wasn't looking for a sweaty, hairy-backed mountain! _I want you_!" 

The younger man warmed and pulled Mulder back for a fierce hug. "You just needed to ask." 

"I'm _asking_." 

Krycek tipped his head looking off, considering and Scully's voice cut the air like a knife. " _I_ suggest you say 'okay' Alex, or that earlier threat gets fulfilled. Right in your ass." 

Mulder actually blinked in surprise as Krycek frowned. "She _always_ like this?" 

" _Krycek_..." Scully's tone said everything. 

"Well... _is she_?" 

Mulder graced his partner with a deep look of thanks. "Only when she knows what's good for me and I'm being a stubborn ass ignoring her. Which has been often as of late." 

"Mulder, _shut up_! Alex, _answer up_ and make it the right one. If you know what's good for you!" 

Krycek winked at Mulder. "She's pushy. Notice that?" 

"Most red-heads are." 

"Ah..." Krycek nodded. "Explains a lot." 

Scully's voice darkened. "Mulder, be quiet! Alex, open your mouth, damn it!" 

"We'll, let's see here..." 

Suddenly Scully shifted, hand moving for the coat and she lifted out the gun. She eased her finger over the trigger and held it up beside her face. Her voice softened, went low but the tone was an artic blast. " _Gentlemen!_ I have a Glock here, fully loaded. I've been up for almost a day! I'm _very_ tired so I'm in a _bad mood_. I can shoot you _both_! I can _also_ make it look very much _not_ my fault at the autopsy. I _will_ mourn you but I'll also _get over it_! The dry car you mentioned, Alex? Want to see me _step on the gas?!_ " 

Holy shit!! 

Both men must have thought it together. Mulder jerked in his arms and Krycek knew to stop playing. "Okay, okay! I want to be with you too, Fox. I'll help. I'll tell you everything I can." 

"Smart man." Scully snarled lowering the weapon. Before she could say more, Mulder locked Krycek in another fierce kiss and his partner sighed. "Oh well." When Krycek's hand began to grip Mulder's ass a bit too possessively and the latter's moans turned to frustrated whimpers, she shoved fingers into her mouth and blew a loud whistle. 

"Excuse me. Um, _excuse me_!" 

As they parted, both men obviously more than aroused, she snorted. "Have either of you heard the phrase 'get a room'?! No! Well, _find one_! This one's mine! I've been up over seventeen hours and I'm sleepy!" She rose, toed off her shoes and Krycek spoke softly. 

"Dana?" 

She turned as he took careful steps towards her, Mulder remaining where he was. Slowly the man lifted up his hands. She stared at them, especially the left one for a moment then looked up. Krycek's eyes pleaded silently, blinked rapidly and she sighed. Reaching out she settled her hands in his, let him pull them close and closed her eyes as a set of soft lips found hers. 

Mulder watched in blossoming love. Finally, the two people he needed in his life more than any others had settled their own painful struggle. Everything he'd hoped, perhaps prayed for, definitely dreamed were finally coming true. Reality, this time, was a far sweeter thing. 

Slowly Krycek moved back, let Scully ease her hands free and waited. She looked at him carefully; making that assessment as always then lifted her hand to sweep a lock of hair from his face with a sigh. "Just... Don't make me regret this _either_ , okay?" 

Krycek's head bobbed hard as he sniffed. "I promise!" No one had to press him. He'd keep it. 

Scully's eyes flicked up to Mulder, the man mouthing a silent 'thank you' behind his lover and she nodded. Hands rose to the button of her blouse as she coughed and glared at them flatly. "Ahem! Do you _really_ want to see this?" 

They were gone in a flash, the bedroom door banging shut. 

Scully lowered her arms grinning wildly. "No, guess you didn't." Gazing around she sighed, "Now... _where the hell_ is that canister of tea?" 

* * *

In Krycek's bedroom the two men sat on the bed's edge, still dressed and nervous. They were finally here, together and despite any need, the fear of awkwardness prevailed. Krycek began to rock back and forth and Mulder realized this was a pattern the young man had; did whenever he was anxious, uncertain or angry. He'd seen it enough to know. Like a cobra swaying before it stuck, only now, Krycek seemed the one bitten. 

"Alex? You...you okay?" 

Krycek nodded, hands folded into his lap as he rocked. "Uh-huh. Yeah." He rocked more. "You?" 

"Um...yes. Fine. Just fine." 

"Good." 

They sat there, quietly. Krycek rocked. Mulder stared at his hands. What was he supposed to do now? Jump him? Pull him down and kiss him? He'd tried that before to dismal results. It was hard to know the right action. Before, it was simple: grab a condom, a guy and go to it. A few hours ago it could have been that easy. If he hadn't started yelling it _could_ have. Now that he wanted a (oh, gosh!), a relationship, he was lost. Krycek seemed no better. 

"You okay?" 

Green eyes looked up confused. "You already asked me that. I'm fine." 

"I...yeah." 

They sat for a moment then Krycek looked over. "Fox, she really wouldn't have shot..." 

Mulder gazed at him carefully. "Right _then_ , Alex...I _wouldn't_ have put chips down on her." 

Krycek blew out a low whistle, swallowed and nodded. Now Mulder began to rock. Finally Krycek sighed. "She kinda shook me. Reminded me of someone." 

Mulder nodded as he rocked. "Yeah. I wouldn't look in a mirror anytime soon. You might find red hair." 

Krycek nodded back, sighing. "Thought so. I have _so_ got to work on my charm." 

They continued to sit, both rocking slowly. After a few moments Krycek stopped moving. "I've got to ask you something." 

"Go ahead." 

Krycek shifted slightly, turned to look at Mulder carefully. "That night you got really drunk... It...it _was_ me. I brought you home." 

"I know." Mulder smiled. "I never got to thank you for that. I was pretty shitted then. I appreciate it, Alex. Thank you." 

"S'kay, but what I wanted to know... I mean, damn Fox, you were in bad shape. You could have had alcohol poisoning or worse. I was..." 

"Worried? For me?" 

Mulder looked up hopeful and Krycek had to acknowledge it. " _Shit yeah!_ I was scared to leave you but I knew if you woke up with me there... I mean, I _didn't_ want you alone so I...I called Scully." 

Mulder smiled more. "I know that too. I should apologize for all that. I remember most of it now. I was a bit sappy then." 

Krycek shrugged. "Actually, you were a bit of a flirt." 

Mulder looked off, face darkening. "Yeah. I know. I... I'm sorry that I..." 

Oh yeah...if he'd dreamed this so had Mulder. Krycek was sure of it, felt the nervousness and perhaps the embarrassment. " _Don't be_. It was kinda cute." 

"Alex...I seem to recall trying to crawl all over you or something like that. I remember saying things that aren't exactly me style..." 

He paused as a hand eased over his, worked fingers through his and he looked up to find green eyes twinkling over a brilliant smile. "I said don't be embarrassed. You need to get drunk more often. In _moderation_ , I mean. Maybe, just a _little_ tipsy; a _little_ buzz. You were different. It was a nice...'departure' from your usual style. 

Mulder nodded. It had been. Too much. Especially when it meant dealing with Alex Krycek. At least, back then. He shifted on the bed easing their hands apart. "Yeah. Yeah, it...was." 

Krycek frowned, realized what Mulder was dwelling on, knew this wasn't going well and knew he needed to change the direction. "Look...what I _wanted_ to know was what happened? I...I bugged the room, heard you talking to Scully but I couldn't..." 

Mulder turned to face him. "Evidence we'd found, items that we were _sure_ were alien in nature, could prove the conspiracy, the colonization plans, just happened to have vanished from the Evidence Room that morning. Everything we'd found, our case records, some lab tests, it was all gone. As if there'd never been anything." 

Of course. Krycek frowned but let Mulder go on. "Anyway, Skinner called Scully pissed. Wanted to know if we'd logged everything in properly, tagged it, filed all the proper papers and such. She confirmed we had. _I_ had! I was right there, Alex, all of it was done right! Cancerman got to it anyway! Everything we'd worked for...gone!" 

Krycek leaned back with a deep sigh. "There was _no_ place you could have put it, secured it, that couldn't be accessed and _he_ didn't have to touch a thing, Fox. He had lots of help out there. Still does. I hate to tell you this, but not everyone that walks across that FBI shield on the floor every day's doing it for the right cause. You should know that by now." 

Krycek had just put _his_ name out there in that sentence as well and Mulder chose to ignore it. "I do. It's just...it's hard, sickens me to know so many officials we've trusted, believed that were there for us, to help us, are in the muck so deep." 

Mulder still wanted to believe in the common good. No matter what. Krycek felt for the man. Poor, sweet, nave Mulder. 

"Anyway, Skinner wanted to see us first thing that Tuesday after the holiday. I knew we were in for it. Not the way I wanted to start off a long weekend. Guess I needed to get out. I didn't plan to go so far. Didn't mean to bum out so bad. So, ah...thanks again." 

"Fox? Let it go. That was in the past. You'll have your chance. Count on it!" 

Mulder nodded and began to rock again. Krycek joined him silently. After a few moments he sighed again. "This is going to sound _really_ weird." 

Mulder stopped, turned smiling. "Then you're talking to the right person." 

"I dreamed..." 

"Yeah, I know. Strange. Knowing what pleases someone before you ever..." Mulder's face went deep red again. "Um...oh, man." 

"You know what I'm _thinking_?!" 

"Um... _feeling_ would be better." 

Krycek nodded. "Did I mention _I'm_ feeling scared shitless about this?" 

Mulder shook his head. "No, not really but don't worry. If you want, I'll be scared for us both." 

Suddenly Krycek hissed. "Oh, _fuck this_!" He grabbed Mulder pulling the older man onto his chest with a grunt. "Look, you know what I like, I know what pleases you. Still, I'm sure you have some surprises left up your sleeve." 

Mulder settled into the passionate grip happily, grateful one of them had found some sense. "I can think of a few. Any others I'm sure you'll help me find." 

Krycek nodded, pulled Mulder down until their lips met. "Then start with what you know, baby. We can add to the list as we go!" 

"I...I'm not very good with this, Alex. I mean, I never... I haven't ever done this with anyone." 

Krycek blinked surprised and badly confused. "Wait... You haven't _ever_ done..." 

" _Noooo_...I have done _that_." Mulder chuckled weakly. "I mean foreplay. I never really spent time kissing, hugging; just making someone feel good, want to... _be_ with me. I always just...went to it. I'm not going to be that good. Just wanted you to know." 

"Well," Krycek considered. "If you hadn't told me I've have never known. Or maybe you didn't notice how well my body listened to your inexperience on your sofa." He grinned and Mulder managed a slight smile back. "Fox? Baby? You'll do just fine. You're apologizing for no reason." 

"Yeah. _Right_. Alex, I'm not a child. You don't have to tiptoe around my ego, such as it is." 

//Okay, here we go with the self-condemnation again. Jesus! I've got work cut out for sure.// Krycek shifted and began to rub Mulder's head gently. "I once heard that experience is ninety-nine percent trying and one percent knowing. And that one percent _always_ comes after the trying. So stop making excuses for putting in some effort." 

Mulder smiled and nodded. "Okay but tell me one thing. What did you dream about, Alex? You've never really said... I mean what did you dream about as far as me?" 

//Well... _wondered_ when you were going to push that one again. Then your timing's always sucked a bit, baby.// Krycek nodded knowing he should get it all out of the way. "I dreamed _everything_ , Fox. I saw the night Samantha was taken; watched myself kick serious book ass in Oxford, of all places." He chuckled and massaged Mulder's head playfully. "You're a fucking genius, you know that don't you?" 

At Mulder's blush and head duck he gripped the hair gently but firmly and tugged. "Uh-uh, don't do that! Don't hide from a compliment, Fox. Especially when it's given honestly. You're smarter than you know and much more than you tend to give yourself credit for." 

Mulder seemed to glow under the words but he was also waiting. Krycek sighed and went on. "I dreamed about Scully's abduction, felt your pain and frustration. And your fear. I dreamed about the stairwell, saw you confront me; felt the confusion and fear, could hear all the voices in your head. It scared me, too. Then I dreamed about Bill, the funeral, your Mom..." He paused seeing Mulder's face pale and rubbed the thick head harder. "I felt your life, Fox. Everything. All the good _and_ the bad. That's when I really realized how much I'd done to hurt you." 

When Mulder remained silent he nodded. "I dreamed about being you and dealing with Diane, with Phoebe. She treated you badly, Fox. I didn't like her." 

"Feeling was mutual, I'm sure. Go on." 

Krycek nodded again. "Well, I just lived your life. Some of it I remember, much of it was new. I dreamed about you on X-File cases, dealing with Skinner, the time your office was burned, finding that chip in Dana... Then I started dreaming about me. Only it was _you_ watching me from your life. It was... _weird_. I remember the time I was sick in your apartment. When you and Dana were helping me, only it was part real and part stuff that didn't happen. At least not then. It was... _freaky_. I woke up too many nights fucked in the head and scared." 

Mulder sighed, nuzzled closer and the petting increased. "Yeah. I felt the same. It thought it was finally happening...that I was finally cracking up." 

Krycek sighed staring up at the ceiling. "Look... I don't know what's happening here. I really don't but I'm learning something from it, that's for sure. I don't want to be like that anymore. Scared. Hurting. Being hurt. I don't want us to hurt each other anymore. I want everything from this moment on to be good for us. Between us. Can we do that, Fox? Can we finally be _good_ to and for each other?" 

Mulder looked up, found Krycek staring back from an open and concerned face and nodded, feeling better than he had in a very long time. "We can try." 

Krycek let his fingers slide away, eased them down to lift up Mulder's chin. "Then let's start right now. Make love to me and don't worry how you do it." 

Mulder's slight smiled deepened as he leaned into his lover's kiss. 

* * *

Scully stared at the door, face growing concerned. Nothing, not even a yelp. Silence. Not good at all. Could they be _that_ quiet in bed? No, not possible. _Some_ sound had to... 

Oh no! 

//Mulder, _get on_ with it! If you start into another long-winded talk, if you two start all this garbage again I... I'll kick that door down and shoot you _both_!// 

* * *

Mulder had them both undressed and tangled in each other's limbs before Krycek could even catch his breath. He gazed up into hazel eyes that had gone darker, streaks of gold flickering in the irises. Watched as they blurred, moved closer, a warm mouth finding his and taking his breath away. Then the face vanished, moved downward. Fingers stroked his inner thigh, paused then began a slow, delicious path upward, across to stroke his cock slowly, building a delicious heat down to... 

"Ohhhh...god, yes!" 

Mulder chuckled, nuzzling against the throbbing hardness at his lips. "You like that, huh?" 

Krycek groaned, letting his hand trail down, brush against Mulder's hair carefully. He was taking a lot of chances - on faith alone - and still regarding this as too eerie. It had almost happened before, the sex. He remembered the anger afterwards more and paused. Mulder felt it. 

"Alex?" 

"Uh...huh." 

Hazel bordered by furrowed brows peeked up from between chiseled legs. "Is that an 'uh huh' you like it or you...don't?" 

"I..." 

Mulder's gaze grew concerned. "Truth, Alex." 

Krycek allowed himself to caress the hair again. "Yes, I like it. A lot. So go back to what you were doing." 

Mulder sighed and began again, kissing slowly, gently; let his lips trace a pattern along Krycek's cock, licking the slit and moaning as he tasted his lover, _really_ tasted him for the first time. The taste, salty, tart, was the best thing he'd had all day. "Ummm..." 

"Is tha-that a-an 'ummm' _y-you_ like it?" Krycek gasped. 

" _Ummmm..._ " 

Green eyes rolled up as dark lashes fluttered shut. "G-Good." 

Mulder lifted up and smiled cautiously. "Do...do you have any lube?" His gaze followed Krycek's arm as it moved up under the pillow, pulled out a small bottle of 'Wet' and he giggled. "Close at hand, huh? Were you ever a boy scout?" 

Green slit from heavy lids as Krycek's lips twisted. "No, but...I've had some adventurous _dreams_. Will _that_ do?" 

"Yeah," Mulder nodded in understanding as he reached for the bottle. "It will. And by the way...you're not dreaming anymore." 

Krycek nodded, fingers still carding through soft hair. "I know but if I was, I'd still say don't wake me." 

Mulder covered his fingers with lube, dropped the bottle on the floor and eased closer. Krycek's eyes went glassy as he felt Mulder's fingers pressing into him. He groaned, flexed involuntarily and Mulder glanced up worried. "Um...Alex, you're tight." 

The man blushed then smiled, murmured low. "I...I haven't... After what happened, I didn't let anyone... For years I just..." 

His voice trailed away as he turned his head only to have Mulder reach up, force it back. He stared down at his younger lover stunned. "A-Alex..." he whispered. "Why...why would you _do_ that? Why deny..." He stopped catching his own words. Why was he even _asking_ this? _He_ hadn't been all that wild in the hay himself. What right did he have to question... 

"God, Alex. I'm sorry. I have no right to ask you about..." 

His voice was silenced as Krycek's fingers traced his face, over the thick eyebrows, down the full nose to rest against his mouth. Green eyes stayed steady. "I did it because...I didn't want to _dream_. I wanted to... _believe_." 

Rattled to his soul, Mulder sagged into his lover's arms and cried. 

* * *

Scully peeked out the kitchen, turned to the bedroom door as the sound of heart-wrenched sobbing slipped from behind it. She tensed, wondered what in the world was going on. Were they...fighting again?! 

No. No, they were probably just starting to realize their feelings. The stress of admitting their love and need would surely begin an emotional tidal wave. That kind of release, shock, would naturally precipitate an outbreak of tears. 

//Give them some time but if you hear the sounds of fists swinging, _then_ you kick down the door and bust them both!// 

Shaking her head, she turned back to the kettle on the stove. 

* * *

Krycek managed to calm Mulder, kissing him slowly and gently as the older man shook the last of his tears free. He lifted up, gazed into green eyes damp with their own tears and drew in a weak breath. "You...you could have waited forever. You _know_ that, don't you?" 

Krycek nodded, let his hand slowly lift to stroke a tear-streaked cheek. "Yeah. Figured I _would_. After you found out about...ah, what I was forced to do, I knew you'd never forgive. Or forget." He glanced off, forced his eyes back and sighed. "That night...when Skinner shot me, I expected you to do the final honors. Finish me off. I _never_ expected you to..." 

He let the words fade as Mulder moved back shaking his head. "Stop. No more. I don't want to relive any of that now. The past is just that, Alex. _Over_. What I want now is a future. One with you at my side, not against me. One that we can both fight for, together." 

He eased up, let his hands slide under his lover's body, lifted them closer. "I don't know why this happened, the dreams. I don't know how and what they really mean except I know I need you with me, Alex. You're a part of me. You're the other half of me. I think we both failed so much because apart we can't do it. Change it. But together I think...I'm sure we're far more powerful. I think _that's_ why you were turned against me. Why you were made to do the things you did. If you had stayed an agent we might have solved it all. Sooner. Found out all the answers. When they forced you against me, they knew I lost a part I needed. So do you." 

"Yeah, but you had, have Scully..." 

Mulder nodded but pushed more. "Yes and now you do too. But she wasn't everything I needed, Alex. I needed the rational view, the 'take a moment and think this through' and she provided it. Still does. But what I needed, _need_ is the confidence, the stubborn determination, that 'fuck it, spit in the wind' guts I sometimes lost at the worst times. That's you! You endured things I know I'd never have survived; kept yourself through it and fought on. They saw that, maybe too late, but it was there. They drove you against me when they realized you were my match. The counter point I'd needed. You, me, add Scully and we're a whole that's far more capable than its parts. A triad they _can't_ stop!" 

Krycek blinked, eyes widening. It made sense. Together, however briefly, they _had_ worked well. Had solved a great deal. Apart, each was lost. Foiled time and again by the other's interference. Green eyes tightened in disgust. "Damn them!" 

Mulder nodded. "Yeah, ditto. Alex..." He eased back, smiling. "We can talk about that later. Right now...well, I'm really thinking about something else." 

Krycek smiled, lips turning up broadly. He angled his gaze downward to where their hips settled together and chuckled. "Oh, yeah. I see. Um, I mean I _feel_." He looked up. "Soooo... Got any ideas on _this?_ " 

Mulder's smile back was wicked. "Just one. You're not going to be able to move much tomorrow." 

Krycek snickered. "Oooohhh... _big words_." 

Mulder leered. "Nope. _Big dick_!" 

Laughter filled the air for a moment then Krycek smirked. "You've got an ego.' 

"No. Just a promise.' Hazel eyes blurred again as Mulder eased back down, lips hovering over his. "Time for me to keep it, baby." 

Krycek sighed, lifted his arms and wrapped his lover up close. "Promise away, Fox. Promise away." 

* * *

Scully settled onto the sofa with her cup trying not to stare down the bedroom door. It was so...quiet. Had they fallen asleep? The exhaustion of expressing their love, the worry and fear wearing them down beyond passion? Perhaps. 

But what if...what if Krycek had _planned_ this? Now had Mulder in there with a weapon?! The sobbing she heard?! 

She lowered the cup onto the table, rose and moved for her coat. What if Krycek had him in pain, was about to... She eased her hand into the pocket, felt fingers wrap the Glock. What if she rushed in, found them... What if she was wrong and Mulder was hurt... 

No. 

'Trust me, Scully. _Please_.' 

If she was wrong, Mulder would _never_ forgive her. Krycek would never _trust_ her. Would probably flee again despite whatever he felt and this time Mulder would surely run with him. She'd loose one and hurt both. Slowly her fingers lowered the gun; slipped back. 

No, she had to let this take its course. Had to let it go where it willed. She'd done all her partner asked of her. Asked time and again for her to help and she finally had. Trusted him to know he was right about this, that Krycek felt the same. There was nothing more she could do now. This moment - good or bad, right or wrong - was theirs to complete. 

She walked back to the sofa and sat down reaching for the cup. Sighing, she gazed at the wood door, forced her hands to steady and sipped the tea slowly. 

* * *

In the bedroom, Mulder had used every bit of foreplay technique he'd learned from years of video study; eidetic memory replaying scenes with startling clarity. Krycek had gotten the full benefit. 

Mulder had licked, sucked, nibbled on him, brought him close too many times already yet managed to pull on the brakes every time. Now he had vanished low in the bed and Krycek was about to get a big shock. 

Suddenly something warm, wet, incredibly flexible and persistent slurped over his ass and he nearly shot off the bed. Only a pair of strong hands holding his legs kept him in place but his yelp still managed to get free. 

"Oh, shit!" 

For someone who claimed he didn't know what he was doing, Mulder's tongue was in a class all by itself. It licked him slowly, savored his shape, burrowed into the tight ring, flicked curiously and Krycek twisted his head, bit the pillow to keep from screaming. 

//Oh, mother... _Fucking, shit!_ // 

Sensations like he'd forgotten rushed over him, part terrifying in their intensity, part so good he could barely think. If Mulder didn't stop... As if to confirm, a warm hazy feeling began to fill his gut, bones. 

//No! No, Fox, don't...// 

Suddenly it vanished. 

//Fucking god! Motherfucking damn!// 

A few moments later and rising like a moon on the horizon, Mulder eased up between his legs grinning like a mad hatter. Hazel eyes were nearly black, the small ring of the irises flashing gold. 

Krycek swallowed. Mulder was hot. Really hot! And staring at him intensely. "Um...wha-what?" he panted. 

Mulder tipped his head curiously. "I think I should brush my teeth. You got a spare toothbrush?" 

Krycek's jaw dropped in shock. "A _toothbrush?!_ You want a toothbrush _now?!_ What the..." 

Mulder smirked. "My mouth's just been somewhere new. I want to kiss you." 

"So? _Kiss me_." 

Mulder's big, beautiful nose wrinkled in shock. "You're kidding." 

"No, I'm not." Krycek murmured reaching up to run his left hand trough sweaty hair. He wrapped Mulder's head firmly and pulled. "Now, come kiss me." 

Mulder's eyes had gone wide at the touch and Krycek paused, understanding. They had dreamed about this too. "Fox, the answers 'yes'. I can crush things with it but not now. And _never_ to you. I'd die before I hurt you again. Before I let _anyone_ hurt you" 

Mulder nodded but his expression didn't seem to agree. "I know you won't." 

"I'm not going to _hurt_ you, Fox." 

"I know." 

"Then..." the hand tugged gently, " _Kiss_ me!" 

Mulder leaned in with a sigh, let his lips brush over his lover's and gasped as Krycek took control and kissed him wildly. Within moments their mouths were going sloppy over each other, the kiss finding more dirty and interesting places to venture. 

Finally Mulder pulled free with a raw gasp for air. Krycek smirked up at him, green eyes fierce. " _Still_ thinking 'yuck'?" 

" _Hell no!_ You taste good all over but you are _wild!_

The green darkened, seemed to spark fire as Krycek purred. "You have _no_ idea how wild I can _be_. So if you're curious get back to what you were doing." He pushed Mulder's head downward with a deep chuckle. "And hurry up!" 

* * *

Scully stared at the door, tossed the dog-eared copy of 'Road and Track' onto the floor and snorted in disgust. 

//Come _on_ Mulder! I promised I'd stay and watch over you, make sure you had time to be with Alex but _come on!_ What do I have to do, huh? Stand by the door and give you instructions?!" 

A scary thought suddenly made her eyes snap wide. //Oh, no! Mulder, no! If you have no idea what you're doing..." 

Scully stared intensely at the door. 

* * *

Mulder was doing better than he ever expected and Alex Krycek was learning just what an eidetic memory _could_ do. 'Foreplayed' out of his mind, rimmed to readiness, the younger man was now a shaky mess on the bed; whimpering, whining, writhing with insane need. 

Mulder was a tormenting demon, keeping the pitch fever-high, holding out the carrot just a tongue tip too far. Making sure Krycek could sense it, want it, but not let him close enough to even nibble at it, the pain and need was reaching hysterical proportions. Yet he'd been nearly quiet all this time, little noise above faint mews, whistles of air, shaking with the intensity too much to make definitive sound. Something was going to _have_ to give and when it did... 

"Foxxxxxx..." 

It sounded like air easing out of a hose. Mulder looked up and blinked through sweat. He was so hard, ached so bad, he knew he'd have a major headache later if not an outright aneurysm but his will power was holding up. Alex's had nearly vaporized along with his strength. "Ye-yeah, babe?" 

Green eyes filled with tears of a different kind stared up. Pleaded. "Please, Fox. Now. Please." 

Mulder looked hurt and worried. "I wanted... I wanted you to enjoy it." 

Krycek's head bobbed exhaustedly but truthfully. "I did, baby. Damn, Fox, I _did_!" He kept nodding terrified Mulder was playing with him now, would toss the carrot away. 

"I wanted you to be ready, Alex." Mulder's hand moved where it currently was, stroked flesh slowly. Krycek's body arched upward, heels digging the bed as he rose up against the finger pressing him. 

" _I'm ready!_ Fucking god, Fox, I'm _ready_!" 

The damn was about to break big time. 

"My, my...so impatient. Very well." Mulder pushed harder, grinning as Krycek sobbed and writhed under him, felt the gland and pressed again. Krycek's strangled sob of pleasure made him growl. Pulling his fingers back, he slid his arms under his lover's legs, hooking under his knees and pulled the man closer. Krycek moaned, shifting his body downward. 

Mulder pressed into the loose, prepared opening feeling it part, welcome him. Then he felt it tense, tighten, trying to stop him. He did and looked up. 

Krycek's eyes were tight under the lids, a look of fear starting to rise and the dream returned hard in Mulder's mind. Foreplay had _never_ been an issue with the man. There _was_ none in rape, only the violation itself. Right where his cock was right now! 

"Alex. Open your eyes, baby. Look at me." 

The green rose under the lids, started to skirt away. "Alex. Look right at _me_!" 

They did, focused on him and Mulder smiled with every fiber of his heart. "Don't look away, baby. I don't want you to miss this. Look right at me. Feel me. Only me." He reached deep into everything he'd learned as a psychologist, pulled every technique in _this_ and sent it out to the man that needed so much help. "Look at _me_ , Alex. Watch _me_ love you." 

// _Trust_ him. Trust _him!_ // 

The green fluttered then the younger man nodded, kept looking as Mulder shifted, gripped his cock and guided it slowly back. At his touch, the eyes went tight and a small mew floated up. "Nnnn..." 

"Ssssh, Alex, feel me. Just me. Fox. _Your_ Fox." 

Mulder pushed more, still slow, groaned as the tension eased, sighed as he began to slide inside Alex and smiled more. "My Alex. Only mine. Gonna love you now. Slow. All night." The green glowed up at him as lips parted on a soft, moan. He groaned against the wave of heat that rushed over him and pushed deeper. "Alllll...mine." 

Krycek's moan turned to a raw sob. He began to rock, impaling himself on the sweet throbbing nosing itself inside him and Mulder's control finally threw in the towel. Crying out wildly, he rocked back and drove in slow but deep, bumped Krycek's prostate and a screech whipped the air. 

"Jesus! Fox, please! _Please_ , baby. _Please!_ " 

* * *

Scully's head snapped up as a scream filled with pain, pleasure, what she knew not, tried to shatter the door. Kry...Alex! Her eyes flicked from it to the coat, the cup wobbling as she started to rise. 

//Easy, girl. Easy...// 

She drew in a long, deep breath, held it then exhaled slowly. Easing the cup down on the table she settled back on the cushion, hands folding down to press palms flat to her knees. //Wait. Listen. Pay attention.// Eyes remained on the door down the hall, bored into it as if she could blast it away; see the truth. But the door held. 

Steeling herself, pushing every thought of voyeurism into a place in her mind, far, far away, she waited. 

* * *

Mulder settled down against Krycek's chest, trapping the man's cock painfully between them but he didn't seem to notice beyond the need to move. He shifted again as fingers laced through his; shifted to pin himself firmer against Mulder, groaned as his lover began to rock, pulling out to thrust again. His legs rose on their own, wrapped Mulder's, heels pressing in, driving the man impossibly deeper into his slick hole. 

"Shit, Fox! Yes!" 

Krycek's shout was enough to drive the last fragment of rational thought from Mulder's mind. Snarling like a wounded animal he quickened the pace, thrusting back in harder with each move, rolled his hips and drove in again, sobbing with the desperate need to come. Only a few thrusts were met by his lover before Krycek arched up wailing. 

It hit them together, driving Krycek down into the covers with a scream. "Boyzoi moy!" His cock pumped slick over his stomach and chest, muscles clenching deep inside took Mulder shrieking to completion. 

Krycek's scream sent him flying. He exploded deep, hot and hard throwing his head back to howl like a wolf. "Yes! God, baby! I love you!" Krycek had no energy to return the declaration, only able to sob weakly as the flames of release began to burn off and Mulder moaned, collapsing down onto his sweaty chest. 

"Ohhhhh...god, that was...whoa." 

Krycek whimpered, pulled his hands free and wrapped them around Mulder with a sob of anguish as he felt the man's deflated cock slip free.. "Fox, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come so...it was all too much. I...I'm sorry. I..." 

Mulder knew the reason, wondered how much Alex truly was aware of himself. //Not now! _Don't_ try to talk now!// "Stop it, Alex! Just stop!" He pressed his fingers over his lover's mouth with a laugh blinking through the sweat. "Do you realize how _long_ it's been for me?! I'm surprised I didn't come the moment we touched. We're new to each other, just... I can't believe I'm saying this but we have _time_ , Alex. Now. Let's just take it slow... _slower_ next time. Okay?" 

Krycek suddenly chuckled. Blushing, he let Mulder go and sighed contentedly as the man rolled to his back and pulled him closer, easing the covers up. "This is really embarrassing. It's not like I've had that many relationships but I didn't fire off every time I was touched. Jesus Fox, I'm only thirty-one!" 

That wasn't it and Mulder knew it. Knew Alex was fighting a truth that he didn't want to face. Knew that this part left of his past couldn't be overlooked, ignored. Knew it would haunt them both. Knew they _would_ have to talk, address it and soon. For now, he let it stay buried and played his part. "And I'm eight years older. _Thank you_ , Alex. I needed that reminder. Shall I go ahead and order a case of Viagra? Cialis?" 

"If you think you'll need it." 

Silence filled the air. Krycek looked up worried and found Mulder staring at the ceiling. Then he sighed, started to sit up. "Where's your phone?" 

Krycek laughed and pulled him back, nuzzled him closer. "Didn't mean it that way. I meant, I'm not _usually_ prone to premature...oh, shit!" He laughed as Mulder rolled over and began nibbling on his neck making amused snorting sounds. "You may need it to keep up with _me_! I mean if I keep rush... Oh man... This is going to take a lot of getting used to, you know that, don't you?" 

"Ummmm, yep." Mulder murmured, licking a slow path up his lover's neck to finish in a light kiss. He eased back, turning over to settle on the pillow with a yawn. 

"Fox?" 

Mulder rolled his head, found Krycek smiling at him softly. "Thanks" 

"For what?" 

Krycek's eyes glistened. "For putting up with my shit. All these years." 

//Oh baby, anytime. Anytime.// "Got a feeling I'm just getting _started_." 

Both of them smiled more, Mulder gazing down as Krycek's left hand slid over his, twined fingers and curled them gently. He marveled at the control, remembered the dreams and squeezed back firmly as his lover chuckled. "Yeah. You are." 

"I can deal with it and we've got time. So go to sleep. I'm gonna be waking you up in a few hours in a fun way." 

Suddenly Krycek rolled over on top of him. "Why wait?" he purred reaching for the floor and the lube. 

Mulder didn't answer with words. 

* * *

Anxious, unable to stay cool, Scully had risen; puttered about for a few moments more putting up the tea canister and rinsing the cup before she heard it. Rising moans and cries. From behind Alex's door. The kind of sounds that weren't painful...depending on how you looked at it. Suddenly a raw shout broke behind it - wild, undulating and full of pleasure in a language she recognized. Alex's voice. A breath behind another rose up, deeper but just as fulfilled. 

Mulder's. 

The tones met, meshed; became a wild cry of pure pleasure. She smiled as it faded to softer cries, gasps for air; felt the blush fade as the headboard quickly creaked to a stop. She nodded gazing at the door. 

" _Finally_. You're right, Mulder, I won't let you be hurt. Either of you. You never really _had_ to convince me you wanted each other but it was interesting watching you try. I knew, Mulder, _well_ before your mind told _you_. Pushed you. I always knew you were passionate, I just never expected for _you_ to figure it out. Still, I know, boys. Believe me... _I know_." 

Moving to the sofa, she stripped down to her underwear and climbing under one blanket slapped the pillow a few times before settling down with another sigh. She was out a moment later... 

And blissfully unaware of the new cries that bounced against the wood door. 

* * *

Soft morning light filtered through a quiet window, formed a path towards the sleeping form and brushed over a reposed face. Scully blinked against it, stretched and sighed in frustration. 

//Ohhhhh... Not _again_?!// 

This couldn't go on forever. It needed complete resolution. Rising, she walked across the floor to the bedroom door and opened it wide. 

//Oh...thank you. _Thank you!_ // 

Mulder slept; lay boneless in the center of the bed. Alex lay next to him, still partly covered by the body of his lover, curled into him like a contented cat. Sweat, the moisture of their effort, still gleamed on their supple bodies, small rivers of it still cascaded down Mulder's back gathering in a pool at the base of his spine; sparkled on Alex's beautiful face. The air was heavy with the scent of their love and Scully blushed at their endurance. Arms wrapped one another close confirming a bond that would now, never be severed. They were connected. 

By an umbilical of love. 

Slowly she closed the door, walked back to the sofa and settled under the blanket. She hoped for them, the dreams were done. That whatever they were brought about for was done, the job completed. 

Prayed that hers, the dreams of being _both of them_ , would sleep as well. 

//Oh Mulder, I'm sorry I didn't tell you both the _entire_ truth but I'm still having _my own_ problems accepting it. I can only imagine how _you_ would have reacted. You once said the dreams were messages. I think I'm beginning to get that.// 

Awake but happy, she rested... 

And watched over them. 

End? 

* * *

Everyone happy now? Hope so, because I almost made this _Scully's_ dream! Well, it seems peace has finally reigned for our boys. But is this it? You like? Want more? Then feed my need!   
  

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Lashala


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